The Barbara Walters Special–Vinyl Villager Edition

It’s time for a little Barbara Walter’s Special! The guest tonight is…well, it’s me. And since Barbara has been too busy trying to keep everyone from killing Elizabeth Hasselback, Jason and the (Sometimes) Serendipitous Girl have kindly stepped in to ask the questions. (I beg their forgiveness if I’ve taken some liberties with a few.)

1)  I love your blog name, especially since I too live in a vinyl village.  How did you come to buy the plastic palace and would you do anything differently?

Well…the honey and I were looking to shack up together. We worked about 45 minutes apart from each other, so were trying to find something to rent in a suburb between our jobs. There was nothing acceptable to rent, so we started looking at a few new neighborhoods and found our Vinyl Village.  There were, I think, 5 houses available at the time and we picked this one because it had the nicest kitchen and bathroom but also happened to be the cheapest. I’m not sure that I would have done anything differently, but I might have looked at more established neighborhoods more…and if I had foreseen the tough times we are in now, maybe not bought at all.

2)  If you could be any super hero who would you be and why?

 Well, Superman of course. He can fly. He can look good in a skintight bodysuit and a cape. He has that whole x-ray vision thing going which I promise I could make very good use of several times a day. The only thing that can hurt him is Kryptonite–and really, when was the last time you saw a piece of that laying around?

3)  Tonight you get home to your favorite meal waiting for you.  What would it be?  And what would you be drinking with said meal?  (Is TOO one question.)

This is tough! I love food…and it’s hard to narrow this down to just ONE meal. Since childhood, there is nothing I like more than a good salad–one filled with so much meat, cheese, and croutons that it couldn’t possibly pass for healthy. So, that. And a bowl of cold peach soup. (I had that once at a wedding and it was incredible!) And a nice fillet mignon, maybe with a little bleu cheese or bernaise. Or a chicken breast stuffed with cheese and prosciutto or a really good bragioli.  And steamed asparagus sprinkled with a bit of oil and garlic. And wonderful bread with garlic or honey butter. I’m suddenly starving! All washed down with a bottle glass of wine or a gin and tonic.

4)  What is one thing about you that would surprise your readers?

 If they’ve read all the stuff here in the “My Life” category, nothing should surprise them. But I’m not sure what people’s impression of me is, so I couldn’t say for sure.

5)  What has surprised you most about writing?  Or if nothing has surprised you, what is the biggest lesson you take away from the writing process?

I didn’t really have any expectations for this blog. I guess I’m surprised that nearly a year after starting it,and 200 plus posts, I still think of and find things to write about. And I’ve been quite surprised at the sense of community in the blog world. I totally wasn’t expecting that.

6) How old are you?

I have the sex drive of an 18 year old. The short term memory of an 80 year old. The attention span of an 8 year old. And the hair of a 45 year old (though thankfully it doesn’t look that way in pictures YET. (As Anderson Cooper once said: Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen early, but it’s a shock when it happens to you.) But my birth certificate will reveal that I am, as of this writing, 31.

7)You’ve joked that you were a perfect child, give us an example of a time you weren’t so perfect.

I’ve only the vaguest recollection of this, but I am told that I was batshit crazy about my appearance when I was young. Class photos from that time do NOT support this. (I mean, turquoise Miami-Vice pants and a yellow shirt–really??) But, apparently there were times I would not get out of the car because there was a stain on my clothes. Then there is the famous story that usually gets told when a few bottles of wine come out: I was about six and spending the weekend with my dad and stepmother. We were planning to go see a movie, or go to a birthday party, or whatever. And. They. Were. Out. Of. Mousse. A tantrum followed and I refused to go. Refused! In fairness to my young self, my hair is thick and course and does absolutely require “product” if it’s not to look like I’ve recently electrocuted myself. But, what six year old even knows what mousse is??

8)What is your most embarassing habit?

I have a habit that probably SHOULD embarass me, but really doesn’t. I sing in the car. Very badly. And I keep singing if I’m placing a phone call until I hear the person answer. IF I hear the person answer, that is. Far too often, the person on the other end of the line is treated to a chorus of  “I’ve Got the Magic Stick” or a shreiking rendition of “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia”.

9)How would you describe a perfect day?

Well it would have to happen at some fun locale–the beach or San Francisco come to mind. I’ d sleep in for sure. Get up, have breakfast in bed. (eggs benedict maybe?) Have toe curling sex. Go get a massage. Do some siteseeing/shopping. Have a nice lunch. Take a nap. Laze around with a good book til time for dinner. Have a long, relaxing dinner at a nice restaurant (the meal outlined above would be fine). Maybe go to a nice night spot for a few drinks. Then some hair raising (or maybe hair pulling) sex. Yup, that sounds ideal to me.

10)What is your biggest nightmare?

I abhor roaches. I can not even stand the site of one in picture form. My skin crawls. Other than that–being burned or winding up as one of those old people who dies poor and alone and no one even notices until the stench wafts down the street.

Would YOU like to sit a spell on Barbara Walter’s sofa? Well, she isn’t available. But anyone who would like me to interview THEM need just follow these rules:

The rules for anyone else who wants to be interviewed.
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.