The Barbara Walters Special–Vinyl Villager Edition

14 01 2009

It’s time for a little Barbara Walter’s Special! The guest tonight is…well, it’s me. And since Barbara has been too busy trying to keep everyone from killing Elizabeth Hasselback, Jason and the (Sometimes) Serendipitous Girl have kindly stepped in to ask the questions. (I beg their forgiveness if I’ve taken some liberties with a few.)


1)  I love your blog name, especially since I too live in a vinyl village.  How did you come to buy the plastic palace and would you do anything differently?

Well…the honey and I were looking to shack up together. We worked about 45 minutes apart from each other, so were trying to find something to rent in a suburb between our jobs. There was nothing acceptable to rent, so we started looking at a few new neighborhoods and found our Vinyl Village.  There were, I think, 5 houses available at the time and we picked this one because it had the nicest kitchen and bathroom but also happened to be the cheapest. I’m not sure that I would have done anything differently, but I might have looked at more established neighborhoods more…and if I had foreseen the tough times we are in now, maybe not bought at all.

2)  If you could be any super hero who would you be and why?

 Well, Superman of course. He can fly. He can look good in a skintight bodysuit and a cape. He has that whole x-ray vision thing going which I promise I could make very good use of several times a day. The only thing that can hurt him is Kryptonite–and really, when was the last time you saw a piece of that laying around?

3)  Tonight you get home to your favorite meal waiting for you.  What would it be?  And what would you be drinking with said meal?  (Is TOO one question.)

This is tough! I love food…and it’s hard to narrow this down to just ONE meal. Since childhood, there is nothing I like more than a good salad–one filled with so much meat, cheese, and croutons that it couldn’t possibly pass for healthy. So, that. And a bowl of cold peach soup. (I had that once at a wedding and it was incredible!) And a nice fillet mignon, maybe with a little bleu cheese or bernaise. Or a chicken breast stuffed with cheese and prosciutto or a really good bragioli.  And steamed asparagus sprinkled with a bit of oil and garlic. And wonderful bread with garlic or honey butter. I’m suddenly starving! All washed down with a bottle glass of wine or a gin and tonic.

4)  What is one thing about you that would surprise your readers?

 If they’ve read all the stuff here in the “My Life” category, nothing should surprise them. But I’m not sure what people’s impression of me is, so I couldn’t say for sure.

5)  What has surprised you most about writing?  Or if nothing has surprised you, what is the biggest lesson you take away from the writing process?

I didn’t really have any expectations for this blog. I guess I’m surprised that nearly a year after starting it,and 200 plus posts, I still think of and find things to write about. And I’ve been quite surprised at the sense of community in the blog world. I totally wasn’t expecting that.

6) How old are you?

I have the sex drive of an 18 year old. The short term memory of an 80 year old. The attention span of an 8 year old. And the hair of a 45 year old (though thankfully it doesn’t look that way in pictures YET. (As Anderson Cooper once said: Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen early, but it’s a shock when it happens to you.) But my birth certificate will reveal that I am, as of this writing, 31.

7)You’ve joked that you were a perfect child, give us an example of a time you weren’t so perfect.

I’ve only the vaguest recollection of this, but I am told that I was batshit crazy about my appearance when I was young. Class photos from that time do NOT support this. (I mean, turquoise Miami-Vice pants and a yellow shirt–really??) But, apparently there were times I would not get out of the car because there was a stain on my clothes. Then there is the famous story that usually gets told when a few bottles of wine come out: I was about six and spending the weekend with my dad and stepmother. We were planning to go see a movie, or go to a birthday party, or whatever. And. They. Were. Out. Of. Mousse. A tantrum followed and I refused to go. Refused! In fairness to my young self, my hair is thick and course and does absolutely require “product” if it’s not to look like I’ve recently electrocuted myself. But, what six year old even knows what mousse is??

8)What is your most embarassing habit?

I have a habit that probably SHOULD embarass me, but really doesn’t. I sing in the car. Very badly. And I keep singing if I’m placing a phone call until I hear the person answer. IF I hear the person answer, that is. Far too often, the person on the other end of the line is treated to a chorus of  “I’ve Got the Magic Stick” or a shreiking rendition of “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia”.

9)How would you describe a perfect day?

Well it would have to happen at some fun locale–the beach or San Francisco come to mind. I’ d sleep in for sure. Get up, have breakfast in bed. (eggs benedict maybe?) Have toe curling sex. Go get a massage. Do some siteseeing/shopping. Have a nice lunch. Take a nap. Laze around with a good book til time for dinner. Have a long, relaxing dinner at a nice restaurant (the meal outlined above would be fine). Maybe go to a nice night spot for a few drinks. Then some hair raising (or maybe hair pulling) sex. Yup, that sounds ideal to me.

10)What is your biggest nightmare?

I abhor roaches. I can not even stand the site of one in picture form. My skin crawls. Other than that–being burned or winding up as one of those old people who dies poor and alone and no one even notices until the stench wafts down the street.

Would YOU like to sit a spell on Barbara Walter’s sofa? Well, she isn’t available. But anyone who would like me to interview THEM need just follow these rules:

The rules for anyone else who wants to be interviewed.
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.




29 responses

14 01 2009
The Incredible Woody

I’m glad I’m not the only car singer around!! I still don’t know how to use hair product.

Interviews scare the shit out of me. It’s a wonder I have ever gotten a job in my entire life. Maybe they hired me out of pity…

14 01 2009

I certainly hope your Honey reads your blog! Maybe dinner and toe curling sex will await you! Good Luck!

You statement about hair really made me laugh! Not because product is funny for a six year old, but because I have three cow-licks, and when I was six I had no mouse! I used to jump out of the shower, dry off, and put a stocking cap on to hold the hair down until dried. I worked well, but for a long time I always had really, really, flat hair!!

14 01 2009
Noe Noe Girl

Interesting! Now I have enough information to start on the book I am writing about you!
31? Still wet behind the ears!

Great Interview!

14 01 2009

I’d forgotten how much young men like sex, lol.

Interview Me!

I think I’m the only one left who hasn’t been interviewed. I’m beginning to feel like the last kid chosen for kickball…

14 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Woody…I don’t either. If they ever stop making this stuff I’ve used for years, I’m screwed.

Predo–Once, when I had my hair grown out slightly, I would do the same thing with the wet hair and cap. My hair has some natural curl to it and if it gets longer than about an inch, it swings up on the end.

Noe Noe–oooo an expose! Can I help pick the pictures you use?

Liz–Oh I’d be perfectly content with twice a week. But since I was to describe an ideal day, I figured I’d throw it in there a couple of times. I’ll think up some good questions and email em to you in the next day or so!

14 01 2009

Sure…why not? Interview me and MAYBE I’ll forgive the fact that you like the HATED Britney Spears song…


14 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Alan…I grovel at your feet for forgiveness. (And will think of some juicy interview questions that will reveal something as equally embarassing)

14 01 2009

#3) Cold peach soup? I experienced a little verp.

14 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Cuteasasa…Verp? is that avomity little burp? Trust me, it was wonderful stuff.

14 01 2009

Correct. Look it up. It’s on page 41 of the Guy Book of Knowledge. I’ll take your word on the soup but I doubt I’d agree. I hate peach pie. Hate peach jam. So cold peach soup….here comes that verp again……. : )

14 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

LOL! If you don’t like peaches, you probably wouldn’t like it. It was a very mild flavor, though.

14 01 2009

Thank you for taking so much time with this and doing such a fantastic job. It’s ironic that SSG and I just barely crossed paths for the first time yesterday, or maybe the day before. And already we’ve been merged into one strange looking Barbara Walters sitting on the toilet.

And, well, one good turn deserves another, right? I haven’t asked anyone else to interview me except for the one that got this whole thing started, so hey, will you please interview me? I want to write about toe curling sex.

14 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Jason…it would be my pleasure! Give me a day or so and Ill have your questions to you.

14 01 2009
Serendipitous Girl

Now that is a VIEW (Ha! See what SSG did just there?) I don’t need to see EVER again. Thanks for such great answers and making me STARVING after your descriptions of the 92 things you’d have for dinner!

And to the wonderful Jason–I can’t think of anyone else I met 2 days ago that I’d rather be merged into a photo of Babs on a toilet with than you. And I mean that from the bottom of my ugly broach covered heart (I’m assuming the boobs are mine?)

14 01 2009

yay! Interview me 🙂 make sure they are juicy questions 😉

15 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager


GYL…coming up!

15 01 2009
5 Questions From The Villager « A Round World Through Square Glasses

[…] Walters he ain’t, but the Vinyl Villager came up with a little Q & A blog that I thought was creative, so I went ahead and volunteered to […]

15 01 2009

Love it! But the pic dude? LOL

Hey, I’ve been sent to fetch you for your forum family, they miss you. if you don’t come back voluntarily we’ll be sending in the posse. It won’t be pretty dude, they’ll fetch you kicking and screaming. 🙂

send em on!

15 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Oh, and thanks for stoppin’ by!

16 01 2009

Love that pic of Bahbah. I think that was taken in F. Castro’s bathroom.

If you were a tree, what kind would you be?

16 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Barbie, that’s easy. Id be a Christmas tree. Beautiful, and only have to work one month of the year.

16 01 2009

For some reason I thought you were in your early 40s. And I love that you sing in the car. That is my favorite pastime. I so don’t care who hears me, and my music is blaring, I’m seat dancing and singing at the top of my lungs.

Since I love nothing more than talking about myself, of course you can interview me. Fun post VV!!!

16 01 2009

I am SOOOO looking you up next time Im in town.
Oh, how I’ve missed this blog.

Sure, interview me 🙂

16 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Woo hoo!! Two more interviews! Might be the beginning of the week ladies before I get the questions to you.

16 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

and Red, welcome back!

16 01 2009
sista #2

ahhhhh you said my favorite words……..Anderson Cooper…..he is dreamy.


17 01 2009

Interview me!!!!! I got ALL the answers. But, you’ve got to promise not to censor any.

I heard that you’ve been under the weather. Hope you are feeling better. Or, hope my info was incorrect.

Anderson Cooper has the best laugh ever. Actually, VV, he reminds me of you. Seriously. I’ve even told TPSkipper that very thing. He’s smart and funny and cute as a speckled pup. Just like you. The only difference between the two of you is that he is on television and he has a rich mother.

19 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Sista…was he one of your Tuesday hot pieces once?

TPB–will do!!

OK, Ive got to get questions to the Girl fro m the Ghetto, Red, and TPB. I think the rest of you should have your interviews in your inboxes.

21 01 2009

How about the time you wouldn’t go out to eat because you had a grass stain on your shorts when you were about 8? I’m sure if I gave it any thought I could think of several more episodes of meltdown over appearance matters (LOL). You were such a lovely child really.

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