Time To Clean Out The English Language

18 06 2009

dictionary

From time to time, our ever-increasing language needs to be swept clean of words, phrases, and expressions that are overused, wrongly used, and just plain damned annoying. This week, I nominate the following three for immediate removal:

“F-bomb”  I don’t know who decided that the word “Fuck” needed to be called an “F-bomb.” When I was a kid, it was the “F-word” and everyone knew what you meant. Now, apparently, it has become explosive! And they are being dropped everywhere. By news anchors who think they’ve gone to commercial, in yearbooks, and by politicians. If I hear someone drop one, should I call the ATF?

“Nowadays” Almost always used to express how much worse off we are now than back “in the day,” I cringe when I hear this word.  I don’t care who says it, I immediately picture some old fart on his rocking chair, chewing a piece of straw, wishing for the days he could ride a horse down Main Street and there were different fountains for different races. The world changes, get over it.

“Fixed income” This one is usually just improperly used because almost everyone, except the gubment and counterfeiters, is on a fixed income. That executive with the million dollar salary? He gets a fixed amount every payday…but does anyone consider that he is on a fixed income? Of  course not, because the phrase has been taken over by pensioners and people drawing a check of some sort or another. What they really mean is that they are on a “meager income”, a “small income”, or an “inadequate income.” Granted, it may be fixed as well, but that really doesn’t express what they mean.

That’s all for this time…I’ve got to turn off the computer because nowadays the price of electricity is so high my fixed income can’t hardly pay the bill. It’s enough to make a person drop an F-bomb.

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7 responses

18 06 2009
alntv

HAHAHAHAHA! Great idea! Wish I had something to contribute but I haven’t really thought about it that much…

18 06 2009
Jason

I have some of these, too, but I just can’t think of them right now. I’ll get back to you…

18 06 2009
c

i’d love to hear more.
Also, i now despise the word organic.

18 06 2009
c

i forgot to say i love saying fuck.
Because.
If i say it, i mean just that-
fuck. You know?

19 06 2009
Little Miss

Oh, man, this is a post after my editorial little black heart.

19 06 2009
noe noe girl

I couldnt have said it any F-ing better!

19 06 2009
The Incredible Woody

Sometimes that word feels explosive, like if it slips out in front of my Dad!!

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