Monday Morning Mish Mash

22 06 2009

 RolllerCoaster

1. I spent the end of last week and a good chunk of the weekend getting over some kinda stomach flu/food poisoning. I’m not sure which, as there’s been a stomach bug going around, but my symptoms presented after Japanese takeout. Such things make for a great diet. If I could have just stayed sick a few more days, I might be able to get into my skinny jeans. You know, that pair of jeans everyone has that doesn’t QUITE fit but you hold on to them because you know one day…one day SOON…they will.

2. I got into the pool for the first time this weekend. I’ve laid out by it a few times, but the water was just now warm enough for me to brave it. I like my pool almost bathwater warm before I will put myself through that initial shock of submersion. Of course, it was 100 degrees this Saturday, so I looked like raw chicken after two hours out there, despite using a 30 SPF sunscreen. The Easter Bunny brought me the best pool float. Its inflatable along the edges and at the “pillow” but the center is mesh, so you can float along partially submerged in the water.

3. I use DSL for my internet service at home. For the past several weeks, it will intermittently just stop working. Usually just long enough to make me curse, then start working again. I called my provider two weeks ago, and “Chad” (whose real name is no doubt Abdoochawakkifaldi) suspected that my modem was dying and sent out a new one. It arrived, and within a day or two it was obvious the problem was NOT solved. So I called back yesterday and got “Brian” (riiiiight) explained the whole thing to him, emphasizing that the service just cut in and out, sometimes for seconds (just long enough to sign me out of messengers), sometimes for a few minutes. He puts me through all the normal troubleshooting–asking me which lights are lit, which are blinking, etc. Apparently, that one of the lights was flashing was a bad thing. So he did a “test” of some sort and the offending light came back on solid. He proclaimed it fixed. I wasn’t so sure. But as he thanked me for being a valued customer, it started flashing again. “Oh so it’s an intermittent issue then!” he proclaimed. No shit, Sherlock. What did I tell you when you answered the phone?? So next I had to move furniture to unplug the line, carry the modem to another room, and see if it flashed or stayed lit in another jack (it flashed), before Brian conceded that I needed a service technician. So now, of course, I have to spend Wednesday evening sitting at home waiting on some guy to show up and “fix” the problem.

4. Crazy mama is back to her morning breakfast of pharmaceuticals. Somehow, Sunday morning at 6 AM she hit a pothole and shredded a tire and a rim. (She claims someone ran her off the road but you can draw your own conclusion.) Of course she wanted money to fix it, and as usual I told her no. (why on Earth does she continue to ask?? Do I have to get ugly to get her to stop?)  “I caint (that’s “can’t” for all of you that don’t speak Appalachian) get no one to help me.” I asked how much the repair would cost, and she had no idea.

“How do you know how much money you need then?” I asked her.

 “I’m just guessin what it’ll cost.”

“Make some calls and find out before you start asking for money.”

She called back a few hours later, but I let it go to voicemail. I called back after the second message (which, for the third time, told me the tragic news of her busted tire as if I hadn’t spoken to her about it already). She sounded like Ozzie Osbourne.

“I can’t understand you.”

mumble mumble, I just woke up he increased my sleeping medicine cuz I’ve been having the most vivid dreams. slur mumble slur”

Well call me back when you’re awake.”

“mumble mumble…Sharon!….slur mumble”

“Goodbye.”

5. Guess what I’m doing this Friday?? The pic at the top is a big clue. I’m finally getting a day at Carowinds. I love a good theme park, and am really pumped about riding the rides! Roller coasters and water slides–gotta love ’em!

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11 responses

22 06 2009
Amanda

I love your Crazy Mama stories!

22 06 2009
trailerparkbarbie

sooooo, that’s why she kept calling here at crazy hours! Thanks for the heads-up. Be glad that you live as far away as you do. Otherwise, she’d just show up and complain/ask for money. Which she does….here.

I love roller coasters! I wanna go, too.

22 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Amanda–fortunately (or is it unfortunately) there seems to be no end to them!

Barbie–come on down! There’s some folks coming from your way you can hitch a ride with! (and she keeps threatening to move here! I’ll need the number of her physicians so I can get a healthy stock of nerve pills if that ever happens!)

22 06 2009
Jason

It’s never good when your mother sounds likes Ozzie Osbourne. Never.

22 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

and I forgot to mention…she “fell asleep” doing her nails and woke up with nail polish all over her pajamas. She scares the shiznit outta me…she’s gonna fall asleep with one of her Marlboro’s lit one night and wake up on fire.

22 06 2009
JJJWWW

Re: the internet — this happened to me 2 weeks ago — dropped out one night (all lights were on), modem problem they said, we’ll send a new one — it didn’t work — that modem must be faulty — we’ll send a new one — third one, same problem — all along I or my wife was on the phone a total of NINE F__KIN’ hours troubleshooting this thing (“I’ve/we’ve never seen anything like this)…a tech came on Saturday to fix it in person — everything in the house was working as it should, he said, let me go “replace the port at the sub-station” or some such nonsense — port replaced, still no go — he said he didn’t know what to do, and put in a ticket for another tech to come on Monday — Saturday tech pulled the tech for the Monday job, finally called in and had them rebuild the entire account, which they did, problem solved….so if you get nothing from the tech, tell him to have the account rebuilt! The most frustrating thing in my life, ever — sad how dependent we’ve become on the internet.

22 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

JJJ…you’re scaring me. Do you all have DSL too?

23 06 2009
The Incredible Woody

1. Hope you are feeling better! I have long since given up the ‘skinny’ jeans. Soon I will be moving on to elastic waists!!

2. Last week was my first dip in the pool, too. I like my water warm!

3. Good luck with that! Dealing with internet providers in any form or fashion is a real pain in the ass.

4. You have the patience of a saint!! But, dear God, I love your Mama stories.

5. You are a man after my own heart! Have a great time. Ride the biggest coaster an extra time for me:)

23 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Woody….ever ridden the ones you hang from??

23 06 2009
The Incredible Woody

Yes!! At Six Flags Over Georgia – called Superman or Batman or something. It was fantastic!!

23 06 2009
The Incredible Woody

SeaWorld Orlando had one that was under construction last fall when I was there. Not only do you hang from the rail but once you are harnessed in the seat, it tilts so you ride hanging face down! I want to go back just to ride that!!

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