Quip of the Week

21 10 2010

Ever used a Neti Pot? Its this little teapot you pour up your nose to rinse out your sinuses. I’ve tried one, and some people swear by them. However, I will not require any Neti Pot treatments after reading the blog from which this Quip of the Week comes from. See, I was doing a little blog perusing while having my morning coffee, and when I chanced upon this gem I literally snorted coffee  up my nose. I can see the obituary now, “Vinyl Villager, 29, Dies in Tragic Coffee-Drowning Incident”

At any rate: click on over and enjoy some Vodka and Ground Beef. (the name alone makes this blog worth mentioning), where you will find such pearls as this:

“In the exam room, he told me to take off my shirt, bra, and any necklaces or nipple rings.  I told him my high school boyfriend said the same thing to me before a night of premature ejaculation and regret.”

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The Vinyl Village Quip of the Week

16 12 2009

I haven’t featured a quip of the week in eons…but this one was too good to pass up.

“I cringed every time I stuck my fingers in those three holes, fearing something rank at the bottom of each. Plus, the holes were either too small, too large, too far apart, or too close together. And they felt greasy, surely providing a home to countless and untold multitudes of germs.”

What on Earth is he talking about? Well click on over to find out.





Quip of the Week

16 01 2009

I think all of us can relate to this Quip of the Week. There are few places more unpleasant to be than the hospital. The bodily functions, the hapless staff tied to, often, impractical protocols meant to cover the hospital’s ass, and not since freshman year in college have you been assigned such a mismatch of  a roommate.

But Predo proves humor can be found in even the most unpleasant of circumstances:





Quip of the Week

6 01 2009

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This week’s honor goes to none other than Trailer Park Barbie! The post that contains the quip of the week is a long one, but absolutely worth it. If you aren’t dying laughing the whole way through, there is something wrong with you.

Me….”Why won’t you have a phone?”

Now, it gets good.

Lacie….”Mine has been cut off because I couldn’t pay my bill. And, this one belongs to “whathisname” and it’s going to be turned off on Monday”.

Me….”Why haven’t ya’ll paid your bills?”

Lacie…”Because we were at WalMart and we were looking at rings and he bought one with his phone money! I said, ‘but, but, but, …what about your phone’? And he said, “I don’t need a phone. I need you. I need your love.” …..





Quip of the Week

30 12 2008

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“they were now jogging past a veritable poster of a nude woman urinating on an obviously excited man who, for some particularly odd reason, was licking perhaps the world’s largest lollipop.”

Our Neighborhood Reverend recounts a lifetime of false accusations in this edition of the Quip of the Week. I think it’s a post we can all relate to on some level, and if you aren’t laughing all the way through it, there’s something wrong with you.





Quip of the Week

19 12 2008

The quip if the week comes to us from the Girl From The Ghetto:

“anyone who calls someone @ 7:40 am to ask them will they be charged extra when getting a Brazilian wax for having a “Fat Pussy” is a little crazy. “

Yes, yes they are.





Quip of the Week

7 12 2008

“Apparently when our house was built, no one used tampons, baby wipes or took big poops.”

The quip of the week goes to Alan, for his story of adventures with Roto Rooter. It reminds me of a time I was cleaning my old apartment…I wiped off the bathroom counter, and for reasons I don’t fully understand, dropped the paper towel into the toilet and flushed as I moved to cleaning the tub. Well, you guessed it. The toilet overflowed…plugged up by the paper towel. As the water hit my feet, I rushed to get across the bathroom to the linen cabinet.

BAM! I slipped, fell flat on my back into a puddle of toilet water. On my knees, I reached behind the toilet to turn off the main valve. I used EVERY SINGLE towel I had to soak up the mess. Now, I didn’t have a washer and dryer in this apartment, so I took the giant trash bag full of wet towels to a friend’s place in the complex, washed the soppy towels, and returned to find ANOTHER mess. The wall valve had popped off and water was trickling out of the pipe. Bathroom flooded, hall carpet soaked. My freshly laundered towels had to be soiled again.