I know you all are itching to know what she’s up to. So, let’s get started. Mama has moved home. She and Kenny are, for at least the tenth time, DONE. He apparently didn’t like the fact that she spent the night with another man. “We didn’t have sex! He just played his banjo and we listened to some Waylon Jennings!” How dare Kenny be so controlling! Mama loaded up her Subaru and hauled ass back to Hoarding Hills with an antique dresser strapped to the roof.
You might remember that Mama had embarked on a career as a Mary Kay consultant. Now, I use a few Mary Kay products myself, as their moisturizer and face wash are about the only ones I have found that don’t break out my rather temperamental skin. I normally order from our office manager, who has whatever I need to me in a couple of days. But, wanting to give Mama a shot, I ordered a fresh supply from her three weeks ago.
Now, the other half and I are climbing aboard a cruise ship tomorrow for our annual vacation, so when I placed that order THREE WEEKS AGO, I told mama she had to assure me that it would arrive in time for my trip. No problem! She assured me that Wednesday…she had a shipment coming the beginning of the next week and she could mail my items right out to me. The following Tuesday, six days after my order, the shipment arrived to her. And today, 22 days after I ordered the items, and 16 days after they showed up at her house, I still have not gotten them.
“Im so sorry, I didnt get em mailed til yesterdee.”
“they been cuttin the grass up here…”
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Her grass allergy has prevented her from going to the post office. But not over to some man’s house for an evening of enchanted banjo music?
Such is the world she lives in.
God bless her.