Politics, Religion, and My Crazy Mama

26 09 2011

I’ve lived in my car the past few weeks. Not literally, of course, but it sure feels like it. I’ve had to run up to West Virginia every other week to oversee the final details on a house I’ve been working on. It’s made work exciting for the first time in a while, but it’s also worn me out. But the end of that project is near…one more visit should take care of it.

While on my way up to the mountains, I spotted a few billboards erected by various churches, the point of which seemed to be discrediting the theory of evolution. This must be a hot ticket again, because they asked the Miss America contestants something about it as well, and it’s turned up in political Q and A’s with (natch) republican presidential candidates.

It’s a small mind that feels threatened by scientific evidence that is seemingly at odds with whatever version of creation their religion has taught them. “It’s just a theory!” naysayers squawk. So is gravity, dear hearts. I don’t remember a lot of the science I learned, but I do recall that NOTHING is ever considered absolute. A theory is as close as we get. It’s as if the faithful feel that evolution disproves the existence of their God. Maybe it just explains how He did it. At any rate, the entrance of the topic into the political realm is nothing more than pandering, and it’s cheap, transparent, and has nothing to do with real issues. But the sort of dim wits who get their panties into a bunch over that sort of thing will no doubt rush out and vote for the fella who sees them as useful idiots who he can pay some campaign lip service to.

Speaking of blathering idiots, the governor of SC recently made some remark that over 50 percent of applicants to a certain place of employment could not pass a drug test. She could not have been more wrong. Turns out, the “fail” rate at this place of employment was around ONE percent. She simply repeated the bad information because it suited whatever point she was making that day. Not to pick on Republicans, but they seem particularly guilty of it. I can’t tell you the number of emails I get that contain flat out wrong information designed to do nothing but impune the liberal side of the aisle. With the exception of one cousin who seems a little too involved with conspiracy theories, not once have I seen the same sort of rubbish from a liberal. It’s nothing new of course, but repeating a lie often enough does not make it the truth. And in this economy and climate, we all owe it to ourselves to be informed.

In the wake of the recent end of the Dont Ask, Dont Tell policy, a gay service member questions Rick Santorum during a recent You Tube debate. To the crowd’s “BOOs” the gentleman asked Santorum if he would reinstate the policy. The candidate said he would, citing nothing more than his hunch that enlistment would drop and a lot of shower room nonsense. The truth is, the military’s own studies have shown that dropping the policy won’t matter a whit to much of anyone. Enlistment-age folks simply don’t have the hang ups about such things that the old fossils running for President do. The Republican party needs to get with the times…they are the Lincoln Town Car of politics.

An interesting fact…when the Supreme Court decision was made to allow interracial marriage in the United States, public support for it was only at 20% (and those against it used the same arguments they use now against gay marriage). Public support for gay marriage is around 50% now. Wonder how long it will be til the Supreme Court decides on it?

At any rate, that gays will have the right to marry in the short term is a foregone conclusion. Even the founder of the hugely anti-gay American Family Association has admitted defeat on that issue, so when politicians mouth off about it, evolution, and the long-decided abortion issue, you can bet your ass it’s because they don’t have shit to say about the issues that REALLY matter. And, I think we are all on the same page that the economy is where it’s at today. Take a look at who has increased the national debt the most. Take a look at who has helped people in your income bracket the most where taxes are concerned. Hint: it ain’t the party who has been draggin Reagan’s corpse out as their mascot. (Didya know Reagan raised taxes 11 times? And even raised them on big business? Any conservative today would be ran out of town if they proposed that!)

But let me get off my soapbox.

Mama needs a hobby, kids. If I have to put up with one more phone call asking me about the weather, I will scream. She calls me four or five times a day. Three conversations regarding protein powder. One to discuss whether prices at her local pumps are the result of gouging, and another to ask which Lego set I got for my birthday. (Yes, I got Legos for my birthday–the “grown up” architecture series ones, thank you very much.)

And she’s turned to playing match maker. A friend recently made a comment that she would like to find someone to date. And mama knew just the man. (Anyone knowing mama’s personal history with men would run at this point.)
He’s got a heart a gold!” Mama gushed. “Kinda stocky.” she continued. “And stutters when he gets excited…but that’s alright.”

You can count on an update should the lovebirds ever m-m-m-meet.

And naturally, mama’s weekly doctors visits factor heavily into her conversations. She is to be commended, according to her doctor, for choosing Vicodin over Percocet to manage her “pain.”

Now, let me get back on the soapbox a minute. In these times of budget crisis, it’s natural to see entitlement programs criticized. I can think of many examples of these programs being abused and over reaching. But before we look at them too harshly, take a look at societies that do not have such social safety nets in place. Do you really want America to turn into Mexico City? Do you want to feel like you’re driving through Mumbai on your way to work? Can you even fathom the increase in crime?

That said…the people who want to slash entitlements should have Mama as her poster girl. She has latched on to some new program that seems to be intended for the elderly and truly disabled. It sounds like a great idea for them–allowing them to stay in their homes longer through the use of in-home nursing and personal assistants. (I imagine for cases of true need it is also less expensive–nursing home care comes at a shockingly high price.) But mama…who manages to do most anything she wants as long as it doesn’t involve an honest amount of labor, believes such a program is perfectly suited to her. And I’ve no doubt she will soon be taking advantage of the housekeeping and personal assistant portion. (“They can help me get this place cleaned out!” she gushed.) Remember what her place looks like?


Mama's Kitchen


Lord have mercy. Can you imagine the poor soul who thought they’d spend their working days helping keep Great Granny at home? That poor aide will need a fist full of mama’s Vicodin to get through the days.

And how have y’all been?




6 responses

26 09 2011

Have you considered contacting the show “Hoarders”..?
Just sayin’
How the Hell ya been!?!?!

26 09 2011
The Vinyl Villager

I did contact them! We got through several steps before they said she wasn’t extreme enough. I should point out they never talked to her, or they would have realized just how extreme it is.
Im great, how are you??

26 09 2011
Peter Parkour

Great post VV. It’s a screwy world we live in, but it sounds like you’re staying afloat, fighting the good fight and continue to know right from wrong. Mama kitchen, whoa! I had no idea. Keep fighting that good fight. 😉

4 10 2011

I also enjoyed this post. I’d have commented sooner but I was consulting with a surgeon about getting my boobs removed because I stumbled across Dancing with the Stars the other night and it threw me into a tizzy. I’ve recovered now and decided that even tho Chaz and I are about the same size and both have shit for knees, we’ll let the similarities end there.

You know, it’s very nice to read about someone who has a talent, and loves their job where they can actually use that talent. I’ll warn you, if I ever come into big $$ we might meet some day. : ) Sadly, you have little to worry about but I still thought I’d warn you.

4 10 2011
The Vinyl Villager

Glad youre keeping your boobs! I hear that after your used to them you can be off balance if you lop em off suddenly.
Id hate for you to start falling over backwards.
And I am waiting for you to hit it big!!

13 10 2011

It would take a team of Visiting Angels a few weeks 24/7 to help clean out her hoard. And, a few of them would probably lose their wings and halos in the process!

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