Actually, the site doesn’t bother me, but a good number of it’s users do. And for specific reasons….in no particular order these are:
1. Couples who have the same facebook account. I see this a lot. None of my friends have this, thank God. I would give them a stern talking to. I can almost understand it with old couples…but just today one of my suggested friends was “ChuckandMelanie Jones” (does Facebook require their first names to be runtogether in that fashion?) who couldn’t have been more than 25. Get your own damn facebook account. Just because you are joined as one in marriage does not mean you are joined as one on the interwebs, ok?
2. People who use their child’s picture as their facebook profile shot. I’m not against seeing pics of people’s kids. I actually like that people share all sorts of family shenanigans on facebook. But if someone from your past does a search for you, how are they going to know if you’re the Tammy Johnson they seek when all that stares back at them is a drooling infant? When your kids turn 13, they can get their own account. Until then, they should not be featured ALONE in a profile picture. I’m totally fine with pics of people holding their children, and if you added a new bumpkin THIS WEEK, it’s acceptable to have them as your profile, otherwise, that little bundle of joy standing in as you says to me that being a parent has sucked any sense of self you had right out of you.
3. Nonsense middle names. This seems to be popular among young wanna-be urban types. “Sarah DisBadBitch Williams”. Unless it appears on your birth certificate, nonsense middle names are just that–nonsense. A friend recently observed that most of these kid’s faux-middle names sound like the title of a bad eighties sitcom. “Jerome WhosTheBoss Franklin” is no doubt already on Facebook.
4. Duck-face self portraits. Another popular one among teen girls. Nothing screams low self esteem to me louder than some poor wench who has no doubt worn down the battery on her prepaid cell phone taking duck faced self portraits. Big lips look good on Angelia Jolie, girls. When you stick yours out you’re just advertising to the world that you are low class and on the fast track to loserdom.
5. Hand symbols. Another one that is the province of young people, though I’ve seen my share of douche bags of all ages doing it. If someone says cheese, what is it in these people that takes that as a sign to flash a peace sign, some butchered gang symbol, or any other sort of hand origami? The hand symbol boys ought to find themselves a little duck faced girl and start planning their minimum-wage lives together, because I have a feeling that is exactly what they are headed for. Future litigants on Judge Judy, you can mark my words.