Snow Storm Preparedness

7 01 2011

The weather folks are predicting snow here in my little southern town this weekend. The system is right to dump up to twelve inches on us. While much of the country would see that much snow as a flurry, it is a very big deal here. Two inches of snow will leave every school, church, and day care center closed for a week here. Twelve inches, we may as well evacuate.

There will be no bread or milk to be found by this time tomorrow. I always wondered why those two staples were so popular when snow comes. What do people do, bundle up with a nice milk sandwich? My own list of snowtime must-haves is much more practical.

Actual Photo of Milk Case During Two Inch "Blizzard"

Vodka. Time flies when you’re drunk. Plus, it will keep you warm.

Cigarettes. Yes, I’m supposed to be quitting again. So I won’t buy any this time, but who wants to  be stuck inside the house without nicotine.

Condoms. You have to do something to pass the time, right?

A stack of  books. Again, you have to  have something to do to pass the time. And an erection lasting more than four hours is dangerous.

A full DVR. May as well get caught up on Judge Judy, right?

Swimming trunks. Once the vodka kicks in, sitting in the hot tub while the snow falls is kinda nice. And it could lead to using the condoms.

Frozen Pizzas. Pizza is the ultimate comfort food, isn’t it?

The Most Current Version of “Angry Birds” This app is absolutely addictive. If you have an iphone, ipad, or ipod touch, go get it NOW.

A folder of entertaining websites.  Might I suggest: www.failbook.com, www.lamebook.com, or www.damnyouautocrrect.com (which had Darling and I laughing so hard last night that our stomach muscles are hurting this morning.

So, what’s on your “snowed in” essentials list??

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5 responses

7 01 2011
Darling

Well I like #3!!!!!! and when do we wear swimming trunks into the hot tub??? That just makes getting to number three slower lol 😉

11 01 2011
Cookie Parker

Bingo!!! The perfect stash for the storm….You’re a real northerner, eh?

12 01 2011
The Vinyl Villager

I’ve lived through many snowstorms, thats for sure.

14 01 2011
crochetycrochetlady

That sounds like my area, everyone freaks out at the mention of ice or snow. Sort of glad we didn’t get any…… yet, a part of me would have liked a few days off stuck at home!! Wouldn’t need the condoms or cigs, (I had a Chantix experience!!) Mr Crochety would like to chase me around the bed and I might even let him catch me! Stay warm and safe!

9 04 2011
VanIsleDoug

Wow, just stumbled on your blog via The Jason Show. FUNNY stuff! (I tend to find Southern humour quite amusing) Having grown up in Milwaukee it used to take quite a lot of snow to qualify as a snowstorm. In those days I never really thought about a ‘list’ as we rarely got socked in. Well, having relocated to Vancouver Island with my hubby 3+ years ago my whole thought process regarding snowstorm has had to adjust. HERE if it snows 2 inches you are most likely staying home for at least a day or two, until it melts. Similar, perhaps, to your circumstances. NOW I have a list. First and foremost is making sure we have gas on hand for the generator. (gotta keep the cable TV up and running) We have to make sure we have food that can be cooked in the microwave as that will run off the generator but don’t even think about the stove. Fixings for Margaritas and Daiquiris are de rigueur. Cat and dog food – check. water – check. Cigs – don’t smoke. Condoms – check. Yup, I think we are set.
Thanks for making me laugh. I’ll be tuning in on a regular basis.

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