Mama Needs a Vacation

22 09 2010

I think my crazy mama has gone back to  her morning breakfast of pharmaceuticals. She called this morning, as she often does when I’m driving to work. She’s been fighting a cold, apparently, and from the sound of it, her physician treats a cold with a few hundred milligrams of percocet or oxycontin.

At any rate, I had to ask her to repeat herself several times. My  birthday is coming up (this Friday, for those who want to send a gift) and she asked what my plans were.

“Darlings throwing me a party at the house, and tonight we are going up to Asheville to meet Dad and Stepmom for dinner.”

“That’s nice. What are they doing there?”

“They rented a cabin near there for the week.”

“Oh, why?” The idea that a vacation can be spent anywhere besides a beach is lost on mama.

“Well they didn’t take a vacation this summer because they thought they would be moving, so they are taking it now.”

Well they could have included your mama in it.”

At this point, I was thankful we were out of coffee, because I would have spewed it all over the inside of the car. Mama and Dad have been divorced for nigh on thirty years, and it’s not like they ring each other up to chat or get together for lunch or anything.

“Why on earth would they?”

“I had ya.” I have no clue what this had to do with the price of tea in China.

“Well, I’m pretty sure it’s just a one bedroom cabin they have.”

“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor if it means I can get away.” Gosh, how dare they be so insensitive as not to invite a woman they haven’t spoken to in years along on their vacation! People can be so rude.

“I imagine they were looking forward to some alone time now that both my brothers are out of the house.”

“I guess so. I was just kiddin’ anyway.”

Sure you were.

“I sure do need a break, though. I ain’t got to see the ocean this year. That’d be the best thing for this cold, salt water!”

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15 responses

22 09 2010
noe noe girl

Hint Hint 😉

22 09 2010
The Vinyl Villager

not exactly subtle, huh? 🙂

22 09 2010
The Incredible Woody

You mean you aren’t supposed to treat a cold with percocet and oxycontin?

22 09 2010
The Vinyl Villager

maybe I’ve had it wrong all these years….

22 09 2010
trailerparkbarbie

Typical Mama. She actually asked Trailerpark Midge if she could go on vacation with her and hubby…not once, but twice. And, she was dead serious. At least, she’s interesting!

22 09 2010
The Vinyl Villager

That does not surprise me in the least! I can’t cross county lines without her inviting herself along.

22 09 2010
LindaSue

Listen here young man! This is Linda Sue, 5 foot 2 eyes of blue! and when a friend told me you was writing about me on here I thought how sweet my boy is then I saw what you was a writing.

You know I haven’t been feeling well and been tired from all the stuff I’ve been going through. You know when I had you they had to give me a pint of blood and this is how you repay me?

And the doctor says there aint nothin wrong with treating my cold with these oxy I got here. You know my uterus and neck been ailing me too. The only thing that would make me feel even better is the ocean, so you better be making plans to take me since you hurt my feelings!

22 09 2010
The Vinyl Villager

ROFLMAO!! I am so gonna get back at whoever this is….

22 09 2010
LindaSue

If we cant go to the ocean I will also feel better if I can sleep on the floor in a cabin. I’ll just bring me some muscle relaxers for my neck. You think you could get me a pack of cigarettes, a pepsi and something pretty to wear while we are in Asheville?

22 09 2010
The Vinyl Villager

sure! How about a neon angel and some nascar memorabilia too?

22 09 2010
LindaSue

I got just the spot for em! I may need some new sheets for when I get back from the cabin. LOL

Sorry Vinyl, I just couldn’t resist!

You know you had a laugh.

22 09 2010
The Vinyl Villager

iM DYING! Now, who is this?

22 09 2010
LindaSue

It’s Lucille Ball… Ricky is ALWAYS telling me I got some ‘splainin to do. lol

22 09 2010
trailerparkbarbie

That is HILARIOUS!!!!! You really nailed her.

23 09 2010
The Vinyl Villager

Mama hinted that someone might give her an old computer. Help us all if she gets online.

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