Search Term Saturdays

31 08 2010

It’s been eons since I did a “Search Term Saturday” post. And, while it isn’t technically Saturday, I sure as hell wish it were.

Maybe I’ve become jaded, the humorous and often disgusting terms that land people here at the Vinyl Village just don’t shock me anymore. Until this week, when no less than a half dozen searches for:

“potato stuck in ass”

landed some poor soul here.

Now, there actually is a post here that pertains to a tuber stuck in the pooper, some poor ole preacher man was, ahem, “putting up drapes in the nude” when he, ahem, “fell on his kitchen table”. Yeah, ok.

But that little bit of weird news was so long ago I highly doubt my searchers were looking for that. Was there some poor soul sitting at the computer, potato stuck up their rear, hoping desperately that there was some information online that would help their predicament and save them an embarassing trip to the ER? For their sake, I hope it was a little red potato and not a big baking spud. Here’s a tip…toys made for just about any purpose can be bought discretely on the interwebs…there is no need to raid the vegetable crisper to get your rocks off. So to the half dozen folks who wound up here, I can only say I hope you are recovering nicely.

Some other notables from the search engines:

“nuns fart”

Yes. Yes they do. Everyone farts. I thought most people knew that by preschool.

and, perhaps related:

nuns in McDonalds

They probably eat there. I don’t think there are any Biblical admonishments to fast food.

“i do whatever my rice krispies tell me”

Well, it’s bound to be as sound advice as you might expect from a psychic. Or a stockbroker. Or a politician. Whatever works for you, friend.

“doublewide into a house”

Ya know, it just can’t be done. You can add on, remodel, and it might look like a site-built house, but underneath it all, it’s a doublewide. That’s right…no matter how hard you work, you can’t turn spam into filet mignon, and you can’t turn a double wide into something it isn’t. Deal with it.




One response

4 09 2010

Are you sure there’s something you’re not telling us? This is all too strange. You’re hiding something from us.

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