Wal Mart Winery

25 05 2010

 Wal-Mart announced that sometime in 2010 it will begin offering customers a new discount item…Walmart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest& Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable  price in the $2 to $5 range.  Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand  into their shopping carts, but ‘There is a market for inexpensive wine,’ said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville. ‘However, branding will be very important.’  Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart wine brands and varieties.

 The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
 10. Chateau Traileur Parc
 9. White Trashfindel
 8. Big Red Gulp
 7. World Championship Riesling
 6. NASCARbernet
 5. Chef Boyardeaux
 4. Peanut Noir
 3. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar
 2. Grape Expectations
 1. Nasti Spumante

 The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

 P.S. Don’t bother commenting  to tell me that this is a hoax. I know possum is not white meat.

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10 responses

25 05 2010
Amanda

I’m sure there’s a huge market for this.

25 05 2010
Liz C.

The wine-o’s are going to reeling from delight, I’m sure. Chateau Trailer Park? Brilliant! And the rest of the labels? Sheer genius my dear!

25 05 2010
trailerparkbarbie

Well, I guess I’ll make WalMart my one-stop-alcholic beverage shopping place. Except, Kroger’s is cheaper on wine.
I’ve never been a wine connoisseur but recently decided that I would take up drinking to “quiet my nerves”. I figured that buying wine would be less expensive and easier to come by than prescription anti-anxiety drugs. The only wines that I could do a testimonial for are Boone’s Farm, Mad Dog, and Cold Duck. So, I went to Kroger’s and headed for the wine aisle. Good grief! I didn’t realize that there were that many different types of wine. So, I snagged one of the clerks who happened to be walking by and ask him to help me. Well, he knew nothing about wine and got another clerk. This clerk was, also, wine ignorant. First clerk said that there was a guy in the meat dept who knew a lot about wine.So, they went to fetch him. When he came back, he asked me what type of wine was I interested in. I said, “I don’t know…I guess Beginner’s and I’ll work my way up to full fledge alcoholic from there”. He didn’t blink an eye and pointed me to what he considered the beginner’s wine. Then, he pointed at the box wines and said that lots of people bought those. I just had to tell you this because it reminded me of YM and when she did a return on some box wine because she said it leaked out! I’m wondering……where did it leak to…”wink wink”.

25 05 2010
trailerparkbarbie

OMT…I’m honored to have an alcoholic beverage named after me….Chateau Trailer Park….this will become my new house drink for guests.

25 05 2010
Tammy

Hahaha! Hilarious… I love Chef Boyardeaux, I bet it pairs well with Spaghetti Os!

25 05 2010
noe noe girl

Please bring samples to Blogfest!
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25 05 2010
Jason

This just hits way too close to home.

26 05 2010
The Vinyl Villager

I personally cant wait for the World Championship Reisling

3 06 2010
The Girl from the Ghetto

I couldn’t have gotten through Michigan State with my 3 bottle of BoonesFarm for $7. Sadly, it was only for one night, so I cut to cut my budget and switch to Heaven Hill vodka at $5 a fifth.

Hell yes there is a market for cheap wine, and it’s called poor people and college kids. I’m sure Walmart will profit from it big time.

VV, you friggin kill me with your white meat joke.

9 06 2010
fracas

I’m fraccing ticked; my favorite (You betshiraz this is wine) didn’t even make the list. I ‘stole’ an image from here earlier, but gave you a hat tip on the blog.

Love your new home pics. Clearly, you have no kids. 😉

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