I cringe when I get in traffic behind a Buick. They are generally glued to the left lane, cruising along at least ten miles below the speed limit, and being piloted by a blue haired old woman who can barely see over the steering wheel. I shouldn’t stereotype, but have you ever seen a hot young person behind the wheel of a LeSabre? I didn’t think so.
You must go read THIS STORY. Anyway, this old gal is out to break stereotypes because police clocked her Buick at 102 miles per hour. Before being cuffed and hauled off to the clink, Granny explained that she was just late for her hair appointment. Honesty is always best, but if I’m 72 and pulled over for speeding, I’m gonna fake a seizure or feign dementia. Of course, old ladies do NOT want to piss off their hairdresser. The number of salons that can still set an old lady “Q-Tip”- do and apply just the right blue rinse are dwindling, and they know it. Take my grandmother’s long time hairdresser “Gay Robert“…he will not hesitate to give an old lady attitude if she is five minutes early, five minutes late, or if the food offering she brings to the salon he runs out of the front bedroom of his trailer house isn’t cooked to his standards. To hell with that, I say, if someone complained that my meatballs were rubbery after I brought them a plate of food out of the kindness of my 84-year-old heart, I’d be hard pressed not to shove that whole plate of spaghetti up the opposite end of their digestive tract. But not my Granny, she just sticks with country fried chicken for Gay Robert now.