Get Outta The Way, Granny’s Late for Her Rinse and Set

19 05 2010

I cringe when I get in traffic behind a Buick. They are generally glued to the left lane, cruising along at least ten miles below the speed limit, and being piloted by a blue  haired old woman who can barely see over the steering wheel. I shouldn’t stereotype, but have you ever seen a hot young person behind the wheel  of a LeSabre? I didn’t think so.

You must go read THIS STORY.  Anyway, this old gal is out to break stereotypes because police clocked her Buick at 102 miles per hour. Before being cuffed and hauled off to the clink, Granny explained that she was just late for her hair appointment. Honesty is always best, but if I’m 72 and pulled over for speeding, I’m gonna fake a seizure or feign dementia. Of course, old ladies do NOT want to piss off their hairdresser. The number of salons that can still set an old lady “Q-Tip”- do and apply just the right blue rinse are dwindling, and they know it. Take my grandmother’s long time hairdresser “Gay Robert“…he will not hesitate to give an old lady attitude if she is five minutes early, five minutes late, or if the food offering she brings to the salon he runs out of the front bedroom of his trailer house isn’t cooked to his standards. To hell with that, I say, if someone complained that my meatballs were rubbery after I brought them a plate of food out of the kindness of my 84-year-old heart, I’d be hard pressed not to shove that whole plate of spaghetti up the opposite end of their digestive tract. But not my Granny, she just sticks with country fried chicken for Gay Robert now.

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11 responses

20 05 2010
crochety crochet lady

I beg your pardon, it is NOT blue, it’s call White Minx! hurmph!

24 05 2010
The Vinyl Villager

LMAO! is it really??

24 05 2010
crochety crochet lady

Yes it is and YES I DO own a bottle, thank you very much!!

20 05 2010
noe noe girl

Damn, I guess I need to slow down!
<

24 05 2010
The Vinyl Villager

or at least get a radar detector!

21 05 2010
Liz C.

“I just want to die like my grandfather died, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like his passengers.” Right? In this case, grandmother. hehehehe

24 05 2010
The Vinyl Villager

Im fairly certain she broke a landspeed record for a Buick!

21 05 2010
big hair envy

Bless her heart! She just wanted to look good for church on Sunday. When an old gal only gets her hair washed once a week, it HAS to take priority!

BTW – I was behind her yesterday on Route 360. Must not have been the day to get her hair did…

24 05 2010
The Vinyl Villager

I think Im behind her on the way to work every morning.

25 05 2010
Jason

I love that she calls him Gay Robert.

26 05 2010
The Vinyl Villager

actually my mom is who calls him “Gay Robert” Im not sure Grandma has any real concept of sexuality.

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