So Ends This Chapter…

18 03 2010

It’s been a surprisingly tough couple of weeks. When the contract came in on the house, I felt relieved. And I very well should have been. See, the builder who constructed my Vinyl Village went belly up just as the last houses were finished. Six houses (including the two to the right of mine) have sat vacant for almost three years now. Yards neatly tended by the Homeowner’s Association, but empty, at times without utilities connected. It was a mystery to all of us in the neighborhood why six perfectly sellable homes would collect dust so long, particularly when the builder’s other unfinished homes in other developments were disposed of rather quickly. And two days after I went under contract, those six houses hit the market. At fire sale prices–at least 20 percent below what they had been previously listed at. (And a good 15 percent less than my house went for.) They were sold within days, but fortunately for me, none of them closed before the financing and appraisals were done on my house. Having those as the most recent comps would have killed the value of my house. So, I continue to tell myself how lucky I am to have found the buyers I did, when I did.

I haven’t lived in my house in over five months. I’ve spent a weekend there a few times when the former Honey was out of town. Gone by to make it show-ready when it hit the market, stopped by frequently to get mail, clothes, etc.  But while it hasn’t been home in the truest sense of the word in a while now, I didn’t realize how much it still felt like home until I started boxing it up. The little house we thought we would keep for two years ended up being home for almost five. That’s the longest I have lived anywhere since I was a child.

And it’s been tough. Every emotion that can be felt, I’ve felt in the past weeks. Sadness…for big things, that what was the overrall happiest time of my life is over, and for small things like never getting to curl up on the sofa in my study for a nap again. Doubt. Anger. What-ifs? Could haves. Should haves. And just an overwhelming sense of loss that doesn’t exactly even make sense to me. Maybe it’s just the finality.In a week, the movers will come for the last of the things and never again will the little blue house with the white picket fence be home. Another family will be raking up the leaves left by the trees we planted back when there was a “we”, they’ll curse the crappy dishwasher, they’ll freeze their feet next winter on the stone floor we spent a month putting in.

And I’ll be asking myself what the next chapter is…

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14 responses

18 03 2010
The Incredible Woody

Grief. It’s a painful thing.

After my Mom passed and my Dad got remarried, I got the news – I would have to move from my house to my step-mother’s house. Having to leave my house brought back every drop of pain I had felt with the loss of my Mom.

{{HUGS}}

18 03 2010
avrgguy

We all make those “could have, should have been” ideas in our heads/hearts. No matter how long ago we made them, or how recent its always a let down! But have faith in the fact that whatever has been dished out to you ( or what you dish out for that fact)- WILL find its way back – the good and the bad (Karma). Hurts to have your heart broken, especially when you never know the real reason why behind it, or when you’ve been strung along – but life is all about learning, personal growth, and moving forward. There is NO reverse in this car LOL. So put it in drive and move on! Good Luck!

18 03 2010
Tammy

They say timing is everything when selling a house and that sure holds true in your case. Moving on to a new adventure is bound to have it’s melancholy moments. Here’s to making new memories!

18 03 2010
dawtch

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness…. joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed…
bb
dawtch

19 03 2010
Jason

I think I’ve had all of those feelings you’ve described here. These kinds of feelings are tough, but necessary, I think.

Hang in there.

21 03 2010
Predo

They say time heals all wounds, but what they don’t say is that healing hurts. Please take this time to reflect and remember the positive moments, focus on how to attain those moments again, and remember that you are not alone, we are here, and “home” will soon mean more then a place to live again…..Big hugs my friend, I wish I could make you fell better….

6 04 2010
The Vinyl Villager

Thank you so much!

22 03 2010
Big Hair Envy

So sorry for your sadness. The old adage that there’s “No place like home” holds true, and starting over is a tough challenge….but one that you can handle. A wise person once told me to lean on my friends because that’s why they’re here…..we’re here for you, and are always willing to listen;)

((hugs))

6 04 2010
The Vinyl Villager

I felt better once it was empty. It didn’t seem like home then…

22 03 2010
thegirlfromtheghetto

Even though I know you are sad (and, I am sorry to hear it!) I still want to remind you that “YOU SOLD IT!” and “FOR A GOOD PRICE!” You are so lucky. Having an underwater mortgage on a condo with 41 year old windows, carpet from the 1980s, and textured ceilings no one wants to grind off, I can’t tell you how jealous I am that you sold your place.

6 04 2010
The Vinyl Villager

You’re right, I need to remind myself how lucky I got.

27 03 2010
crochetycrochetlady

Sweety, I have read all your stuff…. Been lurking for a long time.. I AM NOT a stalker.. I promise. I have been reading your blog for a really long time.. And LOVE Barbie! Sweet thing, just get over it………… Been there done that! And to make it more pathic, I’m OLD!! Well in thae AARP way!!!………….. Fuck that.. Love your posts! Come visit the “sad” side of old age…………….. NOT!!!!! (((HUGS))))
http://crochetycrochetlady.wordpress.com/

Umm We may be related………………..

6 04 2010
The Vinyl Villager

and now that you’ve come outta the closet and stopper lurking, I hope you’ll chime in more! 😉

6 04 2010
noe noe girl

(((hugs))) I know this is hard but time to move on the happier days!
See you at blogfest????

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