1. I went to put on my favorite pair of black casual shoes over the weekend and noticed the whole sole of them was split open. I was aggravated, but then I remembered they were about seven years old and I got them at a clearance shop for under twenty dollars, so I guess I got my money’s worth.
2. My crazy mama has no idea what kind of car I drive. To be fair, there aren’t a whole lot of BMWs back home in WV, because a rear wheel drive car just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. (Particularly after this winter, when they’ve gotten YARDS of snow.) So the other day, I sent a camera phone picture to her friend (“The Black Girl” NeNe) of the car.
“That’s real pretty.” she said, “Maybe next time you’ll get a Mercedes.” (the only luxury car brand she even knows exists, I’m sure.) She could have been looking at a picture of a Ford Pinto and not known the difference.
3. I tried out a new place on Saturday night…a lesbian bar. Never been to one of those before. Interesting place. They keep the lights on full strength and play awful music. (Though I must say those lesbians did the Macarena very well.) But it got me thinking….stereotypes exist for a reason. There were so many women there who looked like Joe Dirt, it was almost comical. I mean, of course not everyone fits the stereotype of whatever race, religion, ethnicity they are…but the stereotype comes from somewhere, and it’s because enough people DO fit it for it to perpetuate. I know that’s not politically correct, but damn it, it’s true.
4. A friend of mine tried to lay some motherly guilt on her sassy seven year old. “How would you feel if something happened to me and those were the last words you’d said to me?” Well, she will never do that again. Hours later, the sensitive little guy asked “If something DID happen, what should I do? Should I walk to a neighbor’s house?” She assured him he didn’t need to worry about anything happening, but, yes, if he ever found himself in an emergency, he could certainly walk to a neighbor’s home for help. “Well should I take the baby with me?” The whole subject must have been heavy on his mind, because he later asked, “So who would take care of us if you weren’t around?” Poor thing tried the ole motherly guilt and just got it heaped back on her.
5. So next Tuesday I’m off to see an endocrinologist to hopefully find out what’s wrong with me. I’ve given up trying to self-diagnose on the interwebs, because I come up with anything from “You’re just crazy” to “Quick! Plan your funeral.” Thanks to everyone for their concern, comments, and emails. Will keep you posted.
6. Are text messaging, twitter, and the internet ruining the English language? An old friend from high school (who I pray doesn’t stumble upon this little blog) leaves the most unnerving status updates on Facebook. They make my skin crawl to the point that I may just have to “hide” her to keep me from going off the deep end. Some examples of this intelligent, educated woman’s messages: she types “dat” instead of “that”. The number “2” or “4” instead of the words “to” and “for”, “d” instead of “the”, “b” instead of “be”, “n” instead of “and”. I want to reach through the screen and strangle her!