I Flashed “Fancy”–TMI Tuesdays

1. Have you ever mooned/flashed anyone? How long ago?

Yes! In high school, there was a country star performing in a nearby town one night. On the highway that evening, we spotted a giant tour bus that could only have held that star. (I want to say it was Reba McEntire, but the details are lost to time.) So I dropped trou and pressed my booty up against the window of the big ole Lexus we were riding around in and gave Reba a show.

2. Pick an animal that best displays your personality.

I think we did this one a few weeks ago, didn’t we? But since we are on the subject of animals, mom called the other day to report that she was a “tiger” for having a date with a man at least a decade her junior. Yeah, mom, I think the kitty you were searching for is a COUGAR. But whatever.

3. Do you mail out holiday cards, and if so, how do you pick the list?

I normally do, but won’t this year. Try to get all the family members, close friends, and those friends that I want to stay in touch with.

4. How often do you wear something sexy to get attention (lingerie, low cut dress, silk boxers, etc…)?

Never. But I take requests. 😉 (And silk boxers? Really? I had a pair of those once and they were awful. They slide, twist, and offer no support.)

5. Have you ever tasted breast milk SINCE you were an adult?

Gag. I’m not even convinced I did as a baby. According to my crazy mama, neither my sister nor myself were “titty babies”

Bonus: Do you like “talking” when you have sex?

Well, I mean, I don’t want a stock report. Or to hear about  Aunt Sadie’s hip replacement. But a little naughty banter or letting loose a few words you wouldn’t say in public can add a certain something to the right moment.

Double Bonus: If Santa is a guy, how is it that he never seems to get lost?

He used to. But he had GPS installed on Donder’s butt a few years ago, and it’s been fine since then.