Dear Santa:

8 12 2009

I’ve been a very good boy this year. And even when I’ve been bad, I’ve been good at it. I’m sure you have already chosen a few gifts from the Needful Things category here, but figured you might need a few more suggestions to finish your holiday shopping.

1. A twice a month cleaning lady. I realize that I’m sort of spread out among homes right now, but at some point in 2010 I hope to be in one place, and I do not want to spend my time in that one place scrubbing damned toilets. I’m not greedy, she doesn’t need to be there everyday or even every week. But just a couple times a month to do the big stuff. And if you could make her the sassy kind who dispenses advice and dry humor, I’ll leave you an extra cookie.

2. A little convertible. Nothing fancy…though if you’re feeling very generous I’d love a white BMW Z4. And I know it’s a $1300 option, but I want the white interior too.

3. And if a convertible won’t fit on the sleigh, I’ll settle for a panorama roof. Preferably attached to a Mercedes-Benz, but you can slap one on my Honda for all I care, I just want a glass roof.

4. A Teno diamond tension ring. I think they are pure art.

5.  A week’s worth of autobody work. Yes, yes, Santa, I did already have the bumper on the Honda repainted this year. But there’s a matter of a tire someone lost on the interstate. And I’m not selfish, I’ll share this gift with my dad, whose new car is sporting two smashed up doors and my little brother, whose Mustang bears the scars of a run in with a tunnel.

6. A Louis Vuitton carryall. Afterall, I’ve been wanting something with the little LV on it since way before you could buy a fake at every flea market and back alley in the world. And a little Louis duffle is perfect for overnight trips and weekend jaunts.

7. A massage. After the year I’ve had, I’m wound up tighter than a virgin at a prison rodeo. An hour or two of deep tissue massage would be just the thing I need to unwind.

8. A good dishwasher. A really good one. That will dissolve a whole turkey if needed. And will do it so quietly that a colicky baby could sleep right on top of it.

9. Some classic memorabilia. Like this gorgeous lamp from the Italian design house of Frajeeelay.

Seriously, though, would love an autographed script from any one of my favorite TV shows. (and speaking of which, you can stuff my stocking with Seasons Two and Three of Dexter!)

10. A winning lottery ticket. Doesn’t have to be to a huge jackpot. Just enough to allow me to retire comfortably.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

18 responses

8 12 2009
noe noe girl

Damn~I need to get busy making my list….a cleaning lady..oh hell yeah!

8 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

wouldnt that be the best gift EVER??

8 12 2009
big hair envy

Lawd-dee!! I need one of those lamps!!! Do you think Santa would bring us a Beamer if we agreed to share custody of the little beauty?? Perhaps that would appear less materialistic on our part…;)

8 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

I bet he would! Shoot, I’ll even let you pick the color!

8 12 2009
big hair envy

Who CARES what color it is….we’d be driving a BEAMER!!! Well, I’m not really crazy about red, but anything else will do!!!!! A deep blue would go nicely with those white seats. Just sayin’.

8 12 2009
Jason

Well, I hope you got everything you asked for!

8 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Ya know, I clicked over and saw your list as I was hunting for the pictures for mine. We’re on the same page today….

9 12 2009
Mental P Mama

LOL — A virgin at a prison rodeo….now I need to get busy with my own list. I hope you get everything;)

9 12 2009
cuteasasa

I love this ring:

http://teno.com/testrogoriw7.html

But I’d happily pass on the ring if I could get someone who’d like to give it to me……sigh….. Merry Frikin’ Day.

10 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

aww, I know how you feel Asa. Beyonce wrote a song about it…

“if ya like it then ya shoulda put a ring on it…”

10 12 2009
trailerparkbarbie

If you were here, you could hire my certified White Trash cleaning ladies. They will dance around to Lynard Skynard on cue. They have interesting tatoos and more interesting tales to tell while they are cleaning. I love my WTCL.

……guess I’ll go return the socks I bought ya. “mumbling….some people are just too hard to please…sheesh!”

10 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

they sound perfect! LADIES plural?? Fancy schmancy!!

10 12 2009
trailerparkbarbie

PS…I have that leg but it’s an ornament. I’d love to have the lamp. I do have a table that is just legs with a top on it.

10 12 2009
thegirlfromtheghetto

Oh, what a great list. Love the House of Frageelay. So lol right now. I’d take a massage more than anything else on your list myself! Hope you get something, maybe TPB can get you the leg lamp?

10 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

that massage is sounding best to me too

11 12 2009
Al

Ya know…I kinda think sunroofs are overrated. But that’s just me. And dude…did you seriously just ask for a carry-on bag? GAH! CMON! All these other cool gifts and you ask for a carry-on bag BEFORE the massage or winning lottery ticket?!?! Dude…

11 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

well I have a sunroof…I get claustrophobic in a car if I dont, but I want the whole roof to be glass. And I need the carry on bag to load all my money in at the lotto office don’t I? duh! LOL

18 11 2010
Dear Santa « Tales From The Vinyl Village

[…] you did not get me anything on Last Year’s List. So let’s try this again, shall […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: