Conversations with Mother

3 12 2009

“I got pulled over by the police this morning.”


“That’s what I wanted to know. I knew I wasn’t speeding.”

“Well, what did they say?”

“Said they had reports that this car was swerving. I know who did it, too. Timmy Hunton (ex-boyfriend number 5,403)–that nosy bastard doesn’t have anything better to do.”

“How did he even know you were out driving?”

“I waved at him going out the road, thought I’d at least be friendly. I don’t normally go that way, cause his wife is one crazy bitch. But I was taking Cassie out to pay some bills and wasn’t thinking.”

“Well did you get a ticket?”

“No, didn’t even get a warning. But then he wanted to know if we was patients from the methadone clinic.”

“God help me…”

“Oh that’s Freddie beepin’ in. (ex-boyfriend number 5,672). Let me take that, he always did have such a calming influence to him.”

So…if the cop had reason to think that my mom and her friend were methadone patients, (That’s one of the few prescriptions I don’t believe either of them take.) why didn’t he at least give a warning? Or a field sobriety test? I probably don’t want to know.




7 responses

3 12 2009


Your mom never ceases to amaze me. I’m almost …OK I am embarrassed she is from WV…

4 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

born and raised!

3 12 2009

And yet one of the more sensible ( in terms of question/response) conversations you’ve shared here.

4 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

the scare must have sobered her up!

3 12 2009
Mental P Mama

This one actually made sense to me. I’m going to go lie down now.

4 12 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Lord! Better get a cold compress

4 12 2009
Liz C.

Sometimes I think your mother can’t possibly be THAT bad, then I think about my own crazy mother and I realize it is most likely true. So sorry my friend.

Fortunately, it is great blog fodder… Need to get something out of it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: