A Night of Debauchery

20 09 2009

As I sit here, eating the sort of greasy food that is only acceptable when you have a hangover, I’m trying to piece together what exactly I did last night. I had plans to go have dinner with a friend, and we decided to stop off and have a drink on the way back to the car. We ran into more friends there, and badda bing badda boom, it’s 5:30 AM and I’m stumbling into the house. Such nights usually come back to me in embarassing fragments such as these later on: (names omitted to protect the guilty, and because, frankly, I can’t recall who said what)

Person One: “I don’t think I should leave my car here.”

Person Two: (to the man checking IDs at the club) “It’s safe to leave a car here overnight isnt it?”

ID Checker: “Honestly, no. We’ve had a break in every night.”

Person Two: (to person one) “Oh just leave it, it’s less hassle than a DUI.”

 “Oh my God, see that guy in the black shirt? I hooked up with him the last time I went out!”

“Um, you went out last night.”

“I know! Can you believe he is with another girl tonight?? I mean, we were having breakfast this morning.”

“Did we just pay a cover to come in here? I’ve had more people over for dinner…”

“The FIDDLER?? OH! I thought we were at the PEDDLER and could just not imagine coming here for a steak.”

Do you really think I care about seeing some vagina??”

“Is that a real woman?”

“I just threw up in the bathroom.”

To the cab driver: “Would you like an omelette?”

“I just saw his penis. Not worth mentioning.”

 

Advertisements

Actions

Information

11 responses

20 09 2009
The Incredible Woody

Bwahahaha!!! Hope you feel better soon!

Frankly I’m impressed that you are up and typing. My hangovers included nothing but me lying in bed moaning and occasionally running to worship the porcelain god!!

20 09 2009
The Vinyl Villager

There was a lot of redbull involved, that tends to prevent hangover Ive found.

20 09 2009
Monkeytoemomma

Do-hickies and piddley-who’s? Sounds like a wild night!

20 09 2009
The Vinyl Villager

I honestly do not know.

20 09 2009
Jason

I remember quite a string of drunken text messages coming my way last night . . . glad you made it through the night with nothing worse than a well deserved hangover!

-J

20 09 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Thats because one of the friends I was out with brought a guy who not only shared your name, but looked (in my drunkenness) like you as well. Sorry for the drunk texting…it seemed like a wonderful idea at the time to tell you that I was out drinking with your alter ego.

20 09 2009
Jason

My name seems to come up an awful lot in these comments. Hmmm.

I’m pretty sure I want your life. At least for a while? Care to trade? You know, husband swap?

21 09 2009
The Vinyl Villager

yes, but you have to take my liver too.

22 09 2009
Alan

This post is AWESOME!!! LOL

If you haven’t seen it yet, go check out http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

HYSTERICAL stuff!

25 09 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Im afraid to look. There may well be some from me…

6 10 2009
dawtch

Been there, done that! I think I dated that penis! Well, ok, I considered it…it was attached to one PRETTY man, as long as he kept his pants up & his mouth shut, that is 🙂
bb
dawtch

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: