Search Term Saturdays

11 07 2009

I shouldn’t be surprised by anything anymore, but I still get some search terms that make my jaw drop. Following are two searchers with some odd ideas about what to do with “man parts.”

“i stuck my cock into the open toe pump”

Why? A four-inch heel might make you appear four inches taller, but it will not have the same effect on your johnson. And why did you enter this into a search engine? Were you trying to find others with a penchant for phallic footwear? Trust me, if it will fit, someone else has stuck it there. I suspect a good athletic shoe or flip flop might be more comfortable. But if you want to stick your weiner in weird things, I have just the thing for you. The $200 “RealTouch“–a new sex toy that I just heard about. You plug it into the wall and your computer, then plug yourself into it. Then you watch porn, and it syncs itself to what is happening on the screen–using different belts and machinery to simulate on you what you are watching. Very fancy! Of course, the idea of putting my wang into something attached to electricity and a bunch of moving parts is enough to make it crawl up inside me, but it sounds like it might feel better than a damned shoe. Come back and let us know if you try it.

“strange things put in the penis”

Can I just suggest that putting ANYTHING into your penis is strange? It’s a very small hole meant for discharging liquid, not taking in solids. You’ll end up at the urologists office with an embarassed look on your face, and they will not believe you just fell onto that uncooked string of linguine or whatever it is you  try shoving up there.

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5 responses

11 07 2009
tom

There are some real winners out there, I wonder if any of them will get the Darwin Award using the new toy!

11 07 2009
Alan

Yeah…electricity & my wank is NOT gonna happen…LOL

11 07 2009
Jason

Two very interesting search terms, indeed. Maybe people just make weird stuff up so someone will write about it.

The second one? There are people who actually do this and seem to enjoy it and I never hear about the urologist part. Not people I actually know. People I’ve seen before. On the computer. Accidentally. I didn’t search for it. Promise.

12 07 2009
Liz

Oh. My. God.

13 07 2009
Noe Noe Girl

TMI

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