1. Why is it that the batteries in smoke detectors never go out until the middle of the night? I was ripped from my sleep at 5 AM by an ominous beep. Of course, my first reaction is that the house is on fire. So I sit straight up in bed, but don’t hear it again, so I rolled over and went back to sleep. BEEP! Woke up again, knowing that we had just changed all the batteries in the smoke detectors less than a month ago. Figured I was dreaming and went back to sleep. BEEP! Got up, walked from room to room trying to figure out which one was beeping. (There are a total of five in the house, with the “Beep” happening about every two minutes, there was an awful lot of me standing blank-eyed under smoke detectors this morning.) It didn’t seem to be coming from any of them. I was afraid this meant there was some wiring problem (the internet and satellite have been cutting in and out a lot the past two weeks, and all of those are tied into the “smart wiring” that feeds the alarms). I cursed the thought of having to hire an electrician to come in, and decided I’d risk burning to death for another hour of sleep. Finally, once I had showered the BEEP! was happening often enough that I was able to trace it to the carbon monoxide detector. Which hangs over the stairwell and requires a chair and an advanced yoga position to get to. I ripped the damn thing off the wall. Carbon monoxide poisoning is a painless death, whereas listening to that BEEP! is a form of torture no longer sanctioned by our government.
2. Speaking of our government, the spammers are apparently working off of our President’s relative popularity with crap like “Obama urges you to refinance!” and “Obama urges single mothers to go back to school!”. Now I’m all for education, and if refinancing will put some dollars in your pocket, go for it. But have we become so stupid that we have to be “urged” by politicians, celebrities, and unnamed experts? I’m just waiting to open my inbox and see a message “Obama urges you to add inches to your manhood.”
3. I had a BLAST at Carowinds on Friday despite the stifling heat. The lines were short and the rides were great. It’s always good to get to be a kid again. The most thrilling was the “Nighthawk” (in the video above–take a dramamine before watching) You are basically laid back flat and then turned upside down, twisted around, and plunged headfirst toward the ground and water. What a rush! But my Gawd, the price of food and beverage there. For a bottle of water, $3.75. For four of us to have an unimpressive hamburger, fries, and drink? $57!
4. What a week it was for celebrity deaths. We all knew Farrah and Ed McMahon weren’t long for this earth, but what a shock it was to lose Michael Jackson. And while I thought his commercials were as irritating as single ply toilet paper, I was equally shocked at the death of Billy Mays. Michael Jackson was a strange character to be sure, but I never believed the abuse allegations against him–I think they were launched by money grubbing parents. What was your favorite Michael Jackson song? One of my favorites, and fitting to his passing, is “You are Not Alone” it was one of the songs we played at my sister’s memorial service.