Monday Morning Mish Mash

15 06 2009


1. The outlaws week long visit is drawing to a close. It’s been a nice visit, I never have much of an issue with the outlaws. Honey turns into a ball of nervous energy that (even more than usual) must be “doing something” every waking moment when they are around, which works my nerves to the nub, but otherwise, it’s always pleasant. I don’t think there has ever been so much cooking at my  house. Last night we had grille-roasted potatoes, flank steak that had marinated for 12 hours in a garlic sauce, fresh veggies, and apple brown betty. I would be morbidly obese before the end of summer if I always ate like this, but, man is it good in small doses.

2. My crazy mama has been less and less crazy the past few weeks. She’s even taken my advice (and everyone else’s) and gotten out of the house–going to church two weeks in a row, visiting with friends and family, and sounding less and less like Paula Abdul on the phone. But crazy isn’t cured overnight, no. She called on Friday. “I’m thinking about getting a cat, what do you think?”  She had apparently found someone in the classifieds who was selling purebred Siamese kittens. We had one when I was younger that my sister adored–dressing the poor thing up like a doll, dragging his little cross eyed carcass around in a baby stroller, etc. He eventually was run over by a four wheeler or shot with an arrow. (Mom’s assessment–not mine). Anyway, this cat was several hundred dollars, and mom wasn’t sure if she could really afford it. I advised that she should just wait until she had a few dollars set aside, because she would also need to get it food, toys, and probably a check up with the vet. “Well, I’m gonna take this picture of your sister with Sammy (our old run over/shot with an arrow Siamese) to show the lady.”  Hmmm…so basically she was gonna play the dead child card in hopes of guilting this breeder into a kitty cat discount. I’m no psychologist, of course, but I don’t recall “price negotiation” being one of the stages of grief.

3. I’ve not had a whole lot of time, given the company in town, so there isn’t much Mish to Mash this morning. So here are a few links to entertain you:

You Suck at Craigslist is a blog that pokes fun at the best of (or is it worst of?) Craigslist ads. Typos, desperation, and bad photography are a proven recipe for hilarity.

Who Pooped should be a sure hit with all the searchers who arrive here looking for excretment information.

And speaking of poop…this has to be the dumbest invention since the Chia Pet: The Comfort Wipe. Am I the only one who thinks that just throws a few unneccesary steps into a rather simple process?




9 responses

15 06 2009
The Predo

Oh My! What a bumpy ride. You start with a cute kitty and end with a butt wipe arm! That was a bumpy ride, and riddled with laughter! I can’t wait to tell the Hubby they invented a butt wipe arm!

16 06 2009

Glad to hear you had a good week with the outlaws 🙂
The thing with Siamese cats – as opposed to just cats – is that they were bred to be guard cats. Yep, you read that right, GUARD cats. They were bred to guard the pharaohs of Egypt. Now, I’m sure that phrase, “guard cat” calls up images of cute, cuddly kitties stalking insects across the floor, pouncing on a stuffed bear, and other generally “cute” visions of kitties “guarding.” But the reality is, an angry cat can cause a LOT of harm. And much like the the dog breed of Chow Chows, Siamese are pretty much own only one creature. (Cats own people, not the other way around, no matter who laid out the money…) And, they have no qualms about attacking someone they view as a threat. While this is a good thing in most ways, some of the situations you’ve described relating to your Mama would most like have been much more dangerous for some of those involved if she had had a Siamese at the time…
Why do I know all this, you ask? As a child, I had a Siamese cat. I also had relatives who lived out of town – do you see where this is going..? my Aunt & Uncle came in from out of town. My aunt did what millions of aunts around the world have done forever – she picked me up and swung me around, giving hugs and kisses. My cat attacked. She wears scars from that attack to this day. Just something to consider when looking at Siamese cats…

I haven’t gotten to you suck, or who pooped yet. I think I’ll like the one from Craig’s List, and dislike the other – sounds crass – but the whole comfort wipe thing..? If you can’t reach your ass to wipe it, I think you might want to consider something that would cause a bit of permanent change. Because you have serious problems…I just can’t imagine…
Oh well, glad to see ya posting again, missed ya!

16 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

ya know, mom had another one when I was just a baby, that tried to eat me in my crib. SO I think you’re right about the guard cat thing.

16 06 2009
noe noe girl

Glad to hear you mama is better. Yes get the cat. We love ours.
Thanks for the laughs.

16 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

it probably would do her some good to have one…

16 06 2009

This is actually kind of amazing. Just last week a friend from college called me and was confiding in me that she has “old lady syndrome”. That’s what her doctor actually called it (teasing of course). Her right shoulder has locked up. She has to go into the hospital, be knocked out and they basically jerk her out of it. Apparently this is something very common in older women. I’d never heard of it before. Well, she’s right handed and she was saying it has been a real tissue…errr…issue. She goes to get jerked in about 3 weeks but it’s been about 2 months of them trying therapy first that hasn’t worked. I forwarded her the link and she’s checking with a couple of drug stores in her area that have tons of medical supply stuff. So just when you think something is goofy, there’s someone else who’s thinking “man I wish I could reach my ass.” So VV, in a very round about way you helped to wipe the rump of a 50 year old lady in New Hampshire. Job well done!

16 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

LOL! Well, Im glad to help. And speaking of help, I totally forgot about the email you sent me! I promise I will answer this week….my mind hasnt been with me.

17 06 2009

I was laughing my a$$ off! I had to read Scott the cat story and the butt wiper . . . are you kidding me? That is so nasty and ridiculous! Who needs another 18″ to wipe???

18 06 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Jason, Im guessing Kim Kardashian?

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