Damned Birds

21 05 2009

TheBirds

A family of birds has taken up residence inside the hanging fern on my front porch. They are surprisingly neat…no bird poo on the railings or other evidence of their presence. I wouldn’t even know they were there except when you open the front door, Mama Bird goes whooshing out of the fern and perches herself in the crepe myrtle tree waiting for peace and quiet again. Well, last night, around 9:30, I took Honey outside to praise me for the excellent job I did repairing a damaged porch railing. We must have woken Mama Bird up, because WHOOSH went the fern. Only she went the wrong way–back toward the house instead of out in the yard.

She spent the next three minutes slamming against the porch ceiling, then dropping down, then slamming into it again trying to find her way out. I, of course, dropped like I was in the midst of a drive by shooting and scrambled into the house on my knees while Honey shouted “She’s going crazy! She’s going crazy!” Now I have the knees (and, somehow, elbows) of a seven year old–big oozy scrapes covered in Band Aids and Neosporin. Damned birds.

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12 responses

21 05 2009
The Incredible Woody

Oh, what I would have given to see that! Sorry about your scrapes though:)

We have a bird that has taken residence in the mail box on my front porch. I use it to leave things for people to pick up so I don’t have to interact (I’m a bitch that way!). One guy came by last night to pick up a check. He reached in and startled Ms. Bird. He flew off that porch, squealing like a little girl!

21 05 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Woody…I think I must have been scooting across the porch on knees and elbows like they do in army movies…I sure hope that some of my neighbors at least got a good laugh out of it.

21 05 2009
joanharvest

I didn’t even see it happen and I got a good laugh out of it. I hope mama bird doesn’t have a headache from all the banging around. Put Boo Boo tape on your scrapes and have Honey kiss them better.

21 05 2009
The Vinyl Villager

As I watched from the powder room, her frantic flapping stopped so abruptly I was afraid she had killed herself. Im anxious to see if she is still there tonight.

21 05 2009
Monkeytoemomma

I hate birds! I don’t care how cute and innocent the look – they are all evil, vile, mite ridden creatures that just waiting to attack or even poop on you.

21 05 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Ya know, last night all that was running through my mind was “She’s gonna poop on me!”

21 05 2009
Noe Noe Girl

I wish I had seen that! We had a fern that kept nesting on our porch in a fern. I finally had to get rid of the fern. I like birds but not that whooshing sound! Sorry about the boo boos!

21 05 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Apparently ferns make great nests. Next year, Im chasing the lil bastards off before they get comfy.

21 05 2009
Alan

That’s hysterical! Damn birds…

21 05 2009
The Vinyl Villager

I might think its funny once all these scabs heal.

21 05 2009
cuteasasa

Hate birds. Had a nest of blue jays once that I thought the Momma would take my little dog’s eyes out every time she’d walk too close. Yous neighbors might be wondering what’s up in your home with Sweetie yelling “SHE’S going crazy” while you did your tummy crawl across the porch! Time for the Neosporin.

21 05 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Gawd, I hadn’t even thought of that…they probably think there’s some sort of domestic violence going on.

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