Search Term Saturdays

11 04 2009


Some soul stumbled here trying to find  out all about “things that shrink the penis.”  An unusual request, no doubt, since all the junk mail I get would indicate that most people want to increase the size of that particular organ. But, to each his own. Should that person return to the Vinyl Village, I hope they will find the following information helpful.

1. Smoking. Yes, if you choose to light up, you’re running the very real risk of shrinking up your little friend. According to a study at the Boston University School of Medicine, “The effects of smoking on the penis is much the same as that on the heart. It damages blood vessels, inhibiting blood flow. In turn, this effects elastin, the magical substance which hold the key to what is widely regarded as the ultimate measure of manhood – the ability to have an erection. Elastin is like a rubber band that you stretch. This is what your penis does – it stretches in response to blood flow. Smoking damages its ability to do that, and so what you finish up with is a structure that will no longer stretch. What the researchers have yet to establish is how long smoking takes to damage a man’s erectile power.”

2. Obesity. While packing on a few pounds won’t literally shrink your schwanz, burying it under rolls of fat will effectively make it shorter. Inspiration to keep up with your cardio workouts!

3. Being Cold. It’s not just a classic Seinfeld episode,  it’s a function of the sympathetic nervous system. When your body is cold, it pulls blood away from the extremities to conserve core temperatures. A penis with less blood simply gets smaller.

4. Fear. A rush of adrenaline can cause the penis to draw up as well. I don’t know why, probably some leftover defense mechanism to protect it from being ripped off as our caveman ancestors ran screaming from saber toothed tigers.

And finally, if none of that works, try this:





12 responses

11 04 2009

Oh yeah, that picture would definitely cause a penis to run screaming for cover….
dawtch 🙂

11 04 2009

I think my penis has now crawled right up inside! I would not call that shrinkage, I would call that a total loss! Thanks for that, now I am going to go search for it!

11 04 2009

Fortunately, none of these pertain to me!!!

11 04 2009
sista #2

Big F tells me he has a “dickdo”.

His stomach sticks out farther than is dickdo.


12 04 2009
Noe Noe Girl

Well if nothing else it should make one quit smoking…
I hate ex smokers dont you?

12 04 2009

Yes, I think Ball Busters will do the trick every time, but we all know what cold does as well. Hee hee hee… I’ve missed your funny posts!!!!

13 04 2009

The view not only inhibits certain penile qualities, it can also make you lose your hair. Everytime it comes on, I rip a chunk of hair out. And that’s the hair on my head. My head on my shoulders.

13 04 2009

Is that little measuring device pulled out to 5 inches? Sure looks little, doesn’t it? Maybe that’s in metric……………..

13 04 2009
Queen of Planet Hotflash

Sista 2 my hubby says he has to keep a big shed for the big tool…Gag Lmao
VV missed ya, going to catch up on my reading past enteries this weekend..

14 04 2009
Big Hair Envy

Scary, scary stuff!!!

14 04 2009

One of those five has sat on my lap, intentionally and for a long time.

In a universe long, long ago

14 04 2009

Oh…I dunno…Elizabeth is STILL pretty hot if you ask me…

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