1. It was a wedding weekend that took us to a small town in Tennessee to see two friends tie the knot. It was a great ceremony, followed by a blast of a reception. We got to town early, taking a leisurely drive through the mountains, and decided to get a bottle of wine to enjoy pre-wedding. (Nothing like gettin’ buzzed to go to church!). I’m going to assume that Tennessee has some law about selling wine and liquor in grocery stores…because the one we stopped at had the longest beer aisle I’ve ever seen but nary a bottle of wine in sight. I asked a manager who was walking through if they had any vino. “Not much.” he said, “But let me show you what we do have.” I’m not too picky about wine, so figured as long as they had a Pinot Noir I was gonna be good to go. But I’m sure I was totally unable to keep my jaw off the floor when the manager flicked from the fridge case a bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, and laid it on his forearm like he was presenting a bottle of something rare and wonderful. Luckily, there was a wine shop around the corner.
2. And the wine flowed freely the rest of the day. We polished off a bottle in the room…and I lost count at glass 8 at the reception. Needless to say, I was a wee bit intoxicated. And let me just offer a tidbit of advice. When staying in a hotel, particularly if you are going to be drinking, familiarize yourself with the layout of the hotel. You never know when you might need to find the nearest exit. But more importantly, you want to know the path to the bathroom lest you walk your naked ass out into the hallway in the middle of the night. (yes, I did)
3. Since everyone (if my search engine stats are an indication) enjoys a good fart story, check this one out: 8th grader suspended for farting on the bus. The driver complained: “Jonathan passes gas on the bus to make the other children laugh and it is so stink [sic] that you can’t breathe after he does it.” Wow, farting on command..impressive! Rather than suspend the poor pooting passenger, maybe they should have just insisted he take some Beeno.
4. And in other news that will make the search engines quiver with joy: a British teenager painted a giant penis on the roof of his parent’s country estate. He apparently did it as a practical joke for Google Earth…but it was on the roof of the house for over a year before his parents even learned about it. Pretty damned funny if you ask me…imagine finding out that you’ve been sleeping under a giant penis for a year. (a dream come true for some?) His parents don’t seem in much of a rush to remove it…they say they’ll make him scrub it off when he gets home from his travels.
5. So it looks like Madonna is trying to add another Malawian baby to her collection. I’ve got a mixed bag of feelings regarding these globe-trotting baby collection celebrities. I applaud their desire to help these kids…but aren’t there kids right here that need it just as much? There was some blather on the news this morning that basically raised the question of whether Madonna should get to adopt because now she is single. There are probably 100 reasons why this particular woman might not be an ideal candidate–but because she is single?? Come on! I found it completely insulting to all the single parents out there to suggest this kid would be better off sleeping on a floor mat in Malawi versus being adopted into a *gasp* single parent home. Maybe that’s why they go abroad…everyone I know who has tried adopting in the US goes through the most ridiculous crap to get approved.