Wake Me When…

19 03 2009

flogging-dead-horse

Enough already!

I don’t care about the damned AIG bonuses. It’s less than one tenth of a percent of the money we gave them. Yep, it’s an outrage. Yep, I’d LOVE to find a job that would reward me for running a company into the ground with millions in bonuses. Yep, I’d like to string the folks who got those bonuses up by their high-priced undies, cover ’em in honey, and then drop ’em on an anthill. But I don’t want to hear anymore about it.

Wake me when someone has an idea for making that company profitable again. Since I, Mr. Taxpayer, now own 80 percent of it, I’ll be looking forward to the day it’s stocks are once again worth $60 a share.

Enough already!

I don’t care if Octomommy went to Walgreen’s. I don’t care if she went shopping for a layette or 14. I don’t care if Angelina is her idol, if she paid for those ridiculous lips with a foodstamp, and I can just about guess what her neighbor’s think of the latest family on their block, so I don’t need Inside Edition to bring me a special on their reactions.

Wake me when whatever doctor it is who decided to implant 8 embryos into a welfare mom with 6 kids has his license yanked. Or nudge me if she comes out with a new stretch-mark cream cause you know her stomach looks like a map of the Mississippi watershed.

Enough already!

I no longer care for guesses and speculation. It is not newsworthy to report when someone THINKS the recession might end. It’s not worth a headline to tell us what someone guesses MIGHT happen, MAY occur, or COULD be the case. If I want to hear a bunch of crap I’ll call up Lady Cleo.

Wake me when someone actually knows something.

ladycleo

Enough already!

I know it’s refreshing to have a young family in the White House. But I no longer care if the Obamas get a swingset. I’ve heard all I need to about the puppy that will one day poop on the rug of the Lincoln Bedroom. I don’t care if the First Lady wears a pantsuit or a Pull Up. We get it! They’re just like us, only richer, more powerful, and not worried about losing their jobs for at least three more years.

Wake me when everything he is doing actually starts working. If it doesn’t work, just let me sleep.

Enough already!

I don’t need a breaking stock market report anymore. We all know it’s up and down more than a Whack-a-Mole game lately.

Just wake me when I can open my investment statements without a box of tissues and a nerve pill handy.

Enough already!

Stop giving these talentless starlets attention! I don’t give a damn if Lindsay Lohan is into the hole or the pole today. I won’t lose any sleep if I’m not up to date on her arrest record. We already know Paris Hilton is a class-free dumpster slut. It’s no longer “news” that she’s sleeping with someone, that she bought a tacky new car, and I sure don’t care what her opinions are on current events.

Wake me when one of these “ladies” displays talent that deserves our attention.

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21 responses

19 03 2009
The Incredible Woody

AMEN!!!

19 03 2009
The Incredible Woody

And who the hell are these Kardashians and why the fuck would I want to keep up with them?

19 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Good one, Woody. All I know is that one of them has a big ass. One of them looks like a big man, and their stepdaddy is the Michael Phelps of two generations ago.

19 03 2009
trish

Feel better now? I know I do. Thnx for venting for all of us…… esp the octomom .. Give it a rest,,, however, I think it would be fun if the octokids all went to jon & kate’s for a playdate!

19 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Trish….you can wake me when Kate and Octomom decide to become lesbians and run off to raise all 22 kids together. LOL!

19 03 2009
cuteasasa

Kardashians?

I am so out of touch. I should have stayed non-HDTV ready. I think I’d have been happier that way.

19 03 2009
sunnymom

Holy crap on a cracker you hit the nail on the head!!!!!!!!! Love it

19 03 2009
Mental P Mama

So true.

19 03 2009
Alan

Feel better? Glad YOU wrote this. Now I don’t have too…

19 03 2009
Jason

Our society and our media have warped senses of reality. There are countless truly newsworthy items that go untold each day because of all of this. Which is your point, right?

19 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Asa–youre probably right.

Sunny–thanks for droppin by! I use a big rubber mallet it makes it easier to hit those nails.

Mental p–can I get an amen?

Alan–ya know, I kinda do feel better.

Jason–yes, they just draw out every “story” well past the point of tedium.

19 03 2009
Noe Noe Girl

I was gonna say that. Instead I’ll say Amen Brother! We need to stop watching the news. I’m tired of my ass being chapped. Somebody wake me when there is some good news to report!

19 03 2009
Serendipitous Girl

Will you please organize a religion immediately? Because all I can do is bow down and say A. FUCKING. MEN.

19 03 2009
c

Yes. Yes. And yes.

20 03 2009
Josh

omfg. THIS IS AWESOME.

20 03 2009
Jodi

What can I say..? You said it all – and people wonder why I could care less about the digital switch! I quit watching tv by choice – although it stays on for Hunny & the boy 😦
bb
dawtch

20 03 2009
Predo

I was sitting in my boxers, on the front porch, on the couch, reached over to my fridge, grabbed a beer, walked into the trailer to read about you not being interested in Paris? What is AIG? I’m going back to pick my nose and bury my head in the sand!

20 03 2009
MJ

Man, I hear you.
I don’t want to watch the news anymore… no out of fear though… out of boredom. “I think I’ve seen this episode already…”

20 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

and just now, I click on the CNN main page and what is their top story? “Charles Manson spends most of his time alone!”

Who gives a rats ass???

21 03 2009
Noe Noe Girl

I’m planting a garden this year.. newsworthy?

21 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Noe Noe, Im not sure. Is Paris Hilton stopping by to help? Is the government subsidizing it while giving you a million dollar bonus if all the plants die?

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