I’ll Have Some of What SHE is Smokin’

4 03 2009

crazyfunerallady

Meet Nicole Marie-Loretta Leonard. The North Carolina woman was driving through South Carolina this week when she decided to join a funeral. Didn’t know the deceased. Didn’t know anyone at the church. But that didn’t stop her from putting on a little show. The talented Miss Leonard danced for the mourners, waved her magic wand over the casket then tapped the deceased in the  head with it, before throwing flowers from the funereal arrangements at the deceased’s gathered loved ones.

fractured_2

 

Yes, you read that correctly. She danced around with  her magic wand and threw flowers at the congregation. The dead man’s family members were not impressed with her live interpretation of a Fractured Fairy Tale and called the police. Ms. Leonard defended her actions, telling officers that it “felt like the right thing to do at the time.”

Maybe she is right. I guaran-damn-tee that everyone in that church forgot, at least for a few minutes, about their heartache. She can bring her wand and her tutu to my funeral, but she will have to leave whatever drugs she is on at the door, because I have a family member or two that might fight her for them.

UPDATE:

Here is some info. from her massage therapy webpage:

michelle-leonard

My private office is tucked away in a serene valley surrounded by an amazing mountain-scape. My loving energy and slow flowing technique provide a truly outstanding relaxation massage. Years ago, I began personal training with a medical doctor who specialized in the treatment of Fibromyalgia. For the next few years I used my knowledge and ability to help those around me by offering free massage therapy on an unprofessional level. Recently, I graduated from The Center For Massage and Natural Health in Weaverville, NC. My massages are affordable and effective. “

Advertisements

Actions

Information

25 responses

4 03 2009
The Incredible Woody

Hopefully, the deceased was someone that would have found humor in her display. And after the pain of loss eases, the family members will be able to chuckle about it too.

4 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

I tend to giggle at inapproprate times. Im not sure if I would have been dumbfounded or laid out in the church aisle laughing…

4 03 2009
Heather P.

This is hilarious! I would have probably been in the aisle laughing too!

4 03 2009
family member

It is funny to read but I know the family and they were not amused. No one was laughing. Who knew if she had a gun? These folks were trying to honor the loved one they had just lost. They did not want to be entertained by a circus act.

4 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

who needs a gun when you have a MAGIC WAND??? duh!

4 03 2009
Noe Noe Girl

OK you can have the drugs but for your own good please dont tell my sister you know me!

4 03 2009
Alan

Hahahahahaha! THAT is the story of the day!!!

4 03 2009
trish

How come that kind of thing never happens while I’m in attendance?? Another great post….

4 03 2009
Amanda

Is it just me or are her eyes not looking in the same direction?

4 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Noe Noe—its our lil secret!

Alan–I was cracking up when I saw this on the local news.

Trish–I know! I’d go pay my respects more often if there was live entertainment.

Amanda–I was thinking the same thing…and the article said she was only 25, I know mugshots are never that flattering, but damn doesnt she look more like 45?

4 03 2009
Snooty

Hell, I would have joined in with the crazy bitch just so the rest of the family would keep their distance from me! Can we spell MANIC? Oh yes, we can! But, it’s always lovely to hear about a free spirited person cutting loose. On some level. Somewhere.

4 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Snooty…turns out she is also a massage therapist with her own website. But I want to know who gives their child a middle name like “Marie-Loretta”

4 03 2009
Mental P Mama

Who gives their kid a middle name like that? Half the people I grew up with! And yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition. But my point is this, does anyone have her address? I want to be her friend. I think.

4 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Mental P…she has a website for her massage therapy business according to my local news…(Ill see if I can find it)

4 03 2009
The Vinyl Villager

AND I passed this story on to one of my favorite gossip blogs…dlisted and it is their top story now:

http://dlisted.com/node/30988

4 03 2009
Jodi

Yanno, I hate to suggest it – Hel, I hate to think it, but she probably calls herself a pagan, or witch, or practices Wicca. Between the wand & the “it felt like the right thing at the time” comment, she sounds suspiciously like the pagans who are always getting press, making those of us who are (relatively) normal cringe. Because of course, they’re always flakes. So the flakes get the press, and the rest of us get the headache & reputation…go figger.
Although – I can’t imagine why it wasn’t jumped on, if she were. Maybe the story wasn’t ‘big’ enough yet…just hafta see what develops. I imagine if it hangs around or gets bigger, that aspect will surface…
Ah well, such is life!
bb
dawtch

5 03 2009
Serendipitous Girl

Um “free massage therapy on an unprofessional level?” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

5 03 2009
family member

She said she was sent.. and she is a compass… my first thought when I heard ‘compass’ was witchcraft/nut case. I know this is so unreal it is very funny to those that weren’t there but the person that had to deal with the ‘compass’ was very upset and unnerved by the whole experience.

5 03 2009
imom

Wow, just wow!

5 03 2009
cuteasasa

Years ago a guy wigged out in my neighborhood. His doc had put him on some med about two weeks earlier and it hit saturation. He stripped buck neked and started running from mail box to mail box, opening them and putting Christmas cards in. All were addressed to Santa and it was July. I was at work and missed the show. Bless his heart, he was mortified. So I try to reserve judgment until I hear the whole story. That story told, this chick would have scared the piss out of me. Most of the nut cases who charge into schools, churches, stores are not there to fire off their magic wand. I would have probably made matters much worse by diving under the casket. What a lovely image that would have left the poor family.

5 03 2009
Red

i wish she’d stop looking at me.

6 03 2009
Josh

WTF?!

Like I said about the tiara bitch – this one needs some counseling, too.

6 03 2009
trailerparkbarbie

Now, that’s one woman that I would like to show up at my funeral. Give the grieving some entertainment! YEaaaaaaaah!

V V…me, too. I tend to giggle at inappropriate times.

6 03 2009
Steve

Barbie– I think anyone who knows you, knows you laugh at inappropriate times. Of course, we’re usually right there with you adding to the banter. Your daughter is doing so well at the university. I am sure you’re very proud.

6 03 2009
MJ

Wow. If she did that at a funeral here, she’d be lucky if someone didn’t kill her.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: