Nadya Suleman’s Got Nothin’ On Me!

19 02 2009

I’ve often heard it said that passing a kidney stone is the closest a man will come to the pain of childbirth. As I’ve written HERE and HERE I am no stranger to kidney stones. But I generally have an attack, then don’t have another for a year or two. I was overdue an attack last fall, when lower back pain signaled that a stone was imminent. Before the holidays, I had passed three. I figured I was free and clear for a few years.

Then, two weeks ago while I was in Chicago, I passed another–luckily with no pain involved. This Sunday night, I had some back pain, but not nearly as bad as what normally accompanies a stone. I figured it was from hours spent driving and from dragging kids around at the ski resort. Monday morning, though, I was proven wrong when *POP* another stone passed. Tuesday, I started getting really sharp back pains. “It can’t be another one!” I thought, “I’ve already passed five in the past couple months!”  My urologist thankfully took me right in and ordered a CT scan.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a CT scan, but they are really cool looking. It’s like looking at slices of your own body. I was immediately reminded of a wrap that had been sliced in half, although instead of looking at bits of chicken and lettuce and cheese, I was seeing my heart, my liver, and my kidneys.

ctscan

wrap

See the resemblance? (that’s not MY CT scan, in case someone out there spots an ovary or something)

Anyway, the scan revealed six more stones…three in each kidney. Add that to the five I’ve already passed in the last few months, plus the seven or so I’ve passed at various times prior in my life, and I’m up to about 18 total. Which will put my “childbirthing” experience somewhere in Michelle Duggar-land, and (so long as she doesn’t find another fertility doc crazy enough to fill her with embryos) well above the experience of wax-lipped Nadya Suleman. Think anyone will pay me millions for an interview?

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13 responses

19 02 2009
The Incredible Woody

Sorry to hear that you are expecting again!!

Vol Fan’s were calcium so the doc said to take 100 mg of B6 and 250 mg of magnesium daily to help his body flush the extra calcium out instead of storing it!

19 02 2009
Liz

Hey, if I had that kind of money, I’d definitely give it to you, for making me laugh so hard over your unfortunate passing of the stones. My BIL has them and has told me they are horridly painful.

So, you’ve had more than 5 babies in the last 6 months and have six more on the way? Yikes! That has to suck big time… Glad you can keep your sense of humor. I’m afraid mine would have gone by the wayside. Waaaaaaay wayside. But, you’re right about the octo mom. She can’t touch that…

19 02 2009
cuteasasa

And you are a long way off from manopause. Hang in there VV. Sorry you have this problem, but glad you can still type.

19 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Woody…there are some unpleasant tests to be done still…but my doc mentioned magnesium to me too…

Liz…the drugs help!

Cuteasasa..manopause! LOL!!

19 02 2009
Noe Noe Girl

I will never eat another wrap. Thank you very much!

19 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

awww…Im sorry. It might be the drugs, but the whole time he was talking about spleens and gall bladders I was thinking, this looks like a black and white ad for wraps.

19 02 2009
Big Hair Envy

Those wraps look YUMMY!!! Oh, were we talking about childbirth? How are you managing to keep the baby weight off?? I could use some tips…

20 02 2009
sista #2

ewwwwwwwwww……you’re a Duggar

20 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Big Hair…pilates and yoga. (more like pizza and frozen yogurt, but pilates and yoga sounds so much healthier)

Sista #2–does that mean I have to get a mullet??

21 02 2009
Jason

My question is, “Why?” Why have you been blessed with so many kidney stone-babies, when you don’t even want them? There are so many people out there who would just love to have kidney stones, but it just isn’t happening for them.

Do you drink too much coffee or soda? Or what?

21 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Jason, I’m genetically predisposed. I used to drink a lot of tea, but cut that out when I got the first one. I don’t drink much soda, but do have a few cups of coffee a day. I’m having more tests done to find a better answer…and hopefully some preventative advice.

22 02 2009
Predo

Yuck! My time with eating wraps is now gone! Having said that, you have a nice set of organs there! you should be proud!

23 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

ahh Predo if I had a dollar for everytime I’d heard that…

well, I guess I’d have a dollar.

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