OK, I’m REALLLY Jealous of This Kid

2 02 2009

abs

In a story sure to make all of  us feel like bloated fat asses…doctor’s are crediting a teenager’s abs with saving  his life. The kid, a brown belt in karate, answered the door to his home over the weekend and found a ski-mask wearing hoodlum on the other side.  He tried a little “wax-on, wax-off” shit on the intruder, but he busted a cap in the kid’s ass anyway. According to the news report: “Doctors who treated the teen said his abdominal muscles likely saved his life. Doctors said the intruder’s bullet was deflected enough by Hoekstra’s muscles that it missed his internal organs.”

Meanwhile, the only thing my abs deflect is admiring glances.

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21 responses

2 02 2009
The Incredible Woody

Abs? What are they??

2 02 2009
Little Miss

Well, it may have saved his life, but this female here doesn’t find it all that attractive. Kinda bumpy and he almost has man-boobs, even if they are all muscle.

You crack me up.

2 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Woody…Im not sure, but I feel certain there isa six pack underneath this pony keg somewhere.

Little Miss–yeah that picture is a bit extreme isn’t it? Looks like a pack of dinner rolls.

2 02 2009
Big Hair Envy

I once had abs. In 1987. It was a great year!

2 02 2009
Noe Noe Girl

abs?? part of carbs?? yeah thats right!

2 02 2009
lwayswright

I haven’t seen anything like my abs since the birth of my first child! Maybe the fat would repell a bullet though!

2 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Big Hair–thats probably the last time I had ’em too–I was ten.

Noe Noe–ya know…its got to be more than a coincidence that A. the letters of “abs” are in the word “carbs” and B., as I mentioned, that boys stomach looks like a pack of dinner rolls.

lwayswright-I had the same thought–which would be a better repellant? hard muscle, or spongy, trampoline-like tummy?

2 02 2009
The Rev.

How did you get this picture of me? Thought I’d filed it away under “personal”…

2 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Rev…oh man Im sorry…I didnt think you’d mind since your face wasnt showing.

2 02 2009
cuteasasa

Reminds me of speed bumps.

2 02 2009
Alan

Hey…how did you get my picture??? Thought I deleted that off my computer. Has my wife been posting pictures of me again?!? Dammit woman!!!

2 02 2009
Serendipitous Girl

Please tell me that kid is 18, otherwise SSG wanting to lick those abs might be kind of pervy.

2 02 2009
The Rev.

Fair enough…I could use the exposure, as it were-

2 02 2009
Jason

This photo has to be fake. This kind of a torso is medically impossible. I, however, am a close second.

2 02 2009
Jason

And look at his left nipple. It actually points DOWN. Guys’ nipples should never point DOWN. This is just sick.

3 02 2009
Liz

Wait a minute. What are abs again? It looks like a fuzzy washboard to me.

3 02 2009
Philly

Now why did you send me that pic of yourself for my TT?

#1

3 02 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Asa–they’re in place to slow you down on the way to…. well….nevermind.

Alan–in her defense, she made me swear to crop the head off.

SGirl–the real kid in the story was only 14, you perv! (Although I feel safe in assuming that the person in the photo is of age in all 50 states and most industrialized countries)

Jason–I agree. There is either some implanting or some photoshopping being done here.

Liz–I hadnt noticed the peach fuzz…

Philly–I didnt want to cause anyone to have a hot flash.

20 08 2009
joe murser

got i bet he`s fit and i would love to av abs like that

16 04 2010
ween

hah your all jsut sad u are to fuckin lazy to get abs

7 08 2010
B-Bizzles

I got abs and do nothing. in your faces!

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