You know how it is…you give one interview and then everyone is calling your agent wanting one and next thing you know you’re trying to juggle Leno, Letterman, and Rachel Ray. OK, so I volunteered for all of these and I don’t even have an agent, but that really is me at the Beverly Hills Hotel. (And, yes, I know I still owe Red some questions–but it’s hard to ask probing questions of someone already so open about her sex life and bodily functions) Today’s questions come from Snooty Primadonna
1. I was mildly shocked to learn you’re just 31. Do you consider yourself to be a mature man or just the average bloke?
JUST 31? Most of the time, it doesn’t sound so bad, but then sometimes I’ll realize that my driver’s license is almost old enough to get a driver’s license. Or that I’ve been out of high school an amount of time equal to my entire K through 12 experience. Or that when my parents were my age I was already in school. But to answer, I guess I’m just average. Some days I feel over the hill and other days I still feel like a kid. I’ve got all the trappings of adulthood (except a child or two of my own) but I still watch cartoons and play video games and drag the Lincoln Logs out of the garage from time to time.
2. What’s the most romantic gesture you’ve ever made?
While not romantic in the flowers and candlelight sort of way, I can pat myself on the back for the surprise birthday party I threw when the honey turned 30. Very nice location, tons of food, drinks, and friends (including many who flew in from all over the country) and, best of all, it was all kept a secret for MONTHS. Actually, now that I think of it, candelight was involved there–because just moments before we arrived, a branch fell and knocked out the power. A quick thinking guest who had helped me plan the whole thing, actually had a bag of tealight candles in her car and saved the day while other guests scampered to the Home Depot for battery operated lights.
3. Are you ever embarrassed when people catch you singing and rocking out to a song in the car, or playing air guitar, or playing the steering wheel drums?
I am one heckuva car singer, and I can play the hell outta the steering wheel drums, but air guitar, alas, is a gift I was never given. I probably SHOULD be embarassed, but maybe it’s the kid in me that won’t allow it. With the advent of bluetooth and other hands-free cell phone devices, I trust that people next to me at the stoplight are giving me the benefit of the doubt when they see my lips moving. When I had my convertible that was a different story…there’s no denying that you’re belting one out when the top is down for all at the light to hear.
4. It has been my observation that there are two types of men when driving. Those who pick their noses & those who don’t. Which are you?
I don’t. Unless of course you are tailgating me, at which point I will dig deep into my sinus cavity to find something to flick onto your windshield.
5. If, for some reason, you were to be chosen for the reality show “Survivor”, what would be the one luxury item you would bring?
This is a great question for today because Survivor is actually hosting an audition very near me, and a coworker and I were talking about how well we might fare on the show the other day. And I know without a doubt that I would not do well at all. I would starve before I would eat bugs or raw critters or whatever it is they subsist on. And the thought of getting that dirty without a nice hot shower at the end of the day is inexpressably horrifying to me. But if I could only take one luxury item, it would be a nice bed and bedding (that is TOO one item!). I’m sort of the Princess and the Pea anyway…I have trouble getting to sleep if the pillow is too flat, too lumpy, too firm, too soft, or too poofy. (which is why I have to buy new ones every six months). If the sheets are too rough or too rumpled, I will likewise toss and turn. If the blankets are too stiff or too heavy, insomnia awaits me. So lying down on the floor of a jungle with a palm frond over me is totally out of the question.