It’s Hard Being a Celebrity

21 01 2009

beverlyhills

You know how it is…you give one interview and then everyone is calling your agent wanting one and next thing you know you’re trying to juggle Leno, Letterman, and Rachel Ray.  OK, so I volunteered for all of these and I don’t even have an agent, but that really is me at the Beverly Hills Hotel. (And, yes, I know I still owe Red some questions–but it’s hard to ask probing questions of someone already so open about her sex life and bodily functions) Today’s questions come from Snooty Primadonna

1. I was mildly shocked to learn you’re just 31. Do you consider yourself to be a mature man or just the average bloke?

JUST 31? Most of the time, it doesn’t sound so bad, but then sometimes I’ll realize that my driver’s license is almost old enough to get a driver’s license.  Or that I’ve been out of high school an amount of time equal to my entire K through 12 experience. Or that when my parents were my age I was already in school. But to answer, I guess I’m just average. Some days I feel over the hill and other days I still feel like a kid. I’ve got all the trappings of adulthood (except a child or two of my own) but I still watch cartoons and play video games and drag the Lincoln Logs out of the garage from time to time.
 
2. What’s  the most romantic gesture you’ve ever made?

While not romantic in the flowers and candlelight sort of way, I can pat  myself on the back for the surprise birthday party I threw when the honey turned 30. Very nice location, tons of food, drinks, and friends (including many who flew in from all over the country) and, best of all, it was all kept a secret for MONTHS. Actually, now that I think of it, candelight was involved there–because just moments before we arrived, a branch fell and knocked out the power. A quick thinking guest who had helped me plan the whole thing, actually had a bag of tealight candles in her car and saved the day while other guests scampered to the Home Depot for battery operated lights.

3. Are you ever embarrassed when people catch you singing and rocking out to a song in the car, or playing air guitar, or playing the steering wheel drums?

I am one heckuva car singer, and I can play the hell outta the steering wheel drums, but air guitar, alas, is a gift I was never given. I probably SHOULD be embarassed, but maybe it’s the kid in me that won’t allow it. With the advent of bluetooth and other hands-free cell phone devices, I trust that people next to me at the stoplight are giving me the benefit of the doubt when they see my lips moving. When I had my convertible that was a different story…there’s  no denying that you’re belting one out when the top is down for all at the light to hear.
 
4. It has been my observation that there are two types of men when driving. Those who pick their noses & those who don’t. Which are you?

I don’t. Unless of course you are tailgating me, at which point I will dig deep into my sinus cavity to find something to flick onto your windshield.
 
5. If, for some reason, you were to be chosen for the reality show “Survivor”, what would be the one luxury item you would bring?

This is a great question for today because Survivor is actually hosting an audition very near me, and a coworker and I were talking about how well we might fare on the show the other day. And I know without a doubt that I would not do well at all. I would starve before I would eat bugs or raw critters or whatever it is they subsist on. And the thought of getting that dirty without a nice hot shower at the end of the day is inexpressably horrifying to me. But if I could only take one luxury item, it would be a nice bed and bedding (that is TOO one item!). I’m sort of the Princess and the Pea anyway…I have trouble getting to sleep if the pillow is too flat, too lumpy, too firm, too soft, or too poofy. (which is why I have to buy new ones every six months). If the sheets are too rough or too rumpled, I will likewise toss and turn. If the blankets are too stiff or too heavy, insomnia awaits me. So lying down on the floor of a jungle with a palm frond over me is totally out of the question.

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15 responses

21 01 2009
Noe Noe Girl

Can I have your autograph??

21 01 2009
Suzi

Can I be your agent?

21 01 2009
Liz

Very, very funny! I knew I could count on you for the humor of it all. But, bed & bedding? BWHAHAHA!

21 01 2009
Alan

Dude…I could kick your ass on the air wheel! My wife bitches about me strummin’ all the time! Anytime you want to set up a competition, count me in! As for the booger-flickin’…well…THERE you are on your own! LOL

21 01 2009
sista #2

hmmmm, you’re a cutie.
can we use you for our Tuesday hotness?

peace
#2

21 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Noe Noe…you’ll have to speak to my agent. Depending on what percentage she charges, that might be Suzi.

Snooty–it was either that or one of those fancy portable bathrooms they set up at golf tournaments and horse races.

Alan–you’re on!

Sista–by all means!

21 01 2009
The Incredible Woody

Look at you – lookin’ all hot in Beverly Hills!!

I’m of the opinion that you are only as old as your humor level. So I’m about 13!

Vol Fan has been on a rag lately about our upcoming anniversary – #19. That means he will have been married for half his life which is apparently making him feel old. I have very little pity for him since I am 4 years older!

21 01 2009
Big Hair Envy

Watch out! The Beverly Hillbilly POleece have your number…..booger flicker!

21 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Woody—its strange what “triggers” our realizations that we’re old isnt it?

Big Hair–LOL! I can see it now “Man Arrested For Assault With a Snotty Object”

21 01 2009
Philly

We will need a better photo. Not that this isn’t great. A close up please, no shirt is optional. Tuesday will be fast approaching.

Please and thankyou

#1

21 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

Oh God, you were serious? Ill see what I can come up with. 😉

21 01 2009
GYL

LOL, toughen up Princess 🙂

I love these interview questions (and answers) I think they reveal a lot more than normal blog posts.

Old? I ain’t old. Sigh. Yes I am. I teach kids whose parents are only a few years older than me. And the kid is 16. And I am only barely hanging onto 30. At least I am not teaching the kids of my former students like some teachers are at my school. (One lady has even taught a grandchild) Ugh.

21 01 2009
Liz

I’ve been sitting here for 15 minutes laughing so hard at everyone’s comments that I had tears streaming down my face. I keep trying to contain myself, but I just can’t. Still laughing….

25 01 2009
thegirlfromtheghetto

Hey, I always wanted to know what you looked like in real life. For some reason I was picturing you as premature grey, lol!!!!

25 01 2009
The Vinyl Villager

GYL…I found a cool site that gives such questions every week. Ill have a link to it up soon.

Liz–the comments are my favorite part sometimes!

Girl–I am prematurely graying, its just not so bad that you can see it in pictures yet. (Ive got a pic in the about me section too)

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