Monday Morning Mish Mash

15 12 2008

branflakes

1. I mentioned last week that I would be hosting a gathering this past weekend. It went great–with more baking and cooking in preparation than my kitchen normally sees in a month. Good food–good drinks–good friends and we managed to collect a ton of presents for the needy family we adopted, which is the best part of all.

2. I’m almost finished with my Christmas shopping. I managed to get this far without being trampled, having a parking lot car accident, or maxing out any credit cards, all of which is a miracle.

3. Thanks for bearing with me last week as I got on my soapbox about gay marriage and the War on Christmas. I try to keep it light around here, but sometimes something gets under my skin and I just need to vent. The soapbox isn’t put away yet either, as soon as I have a few spare moments (a rarity this week) to get back on it, you’ll be seeing me blow some more hot air.

4. A little  joke to start the week off:

The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bathroom. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, “Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.”
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “Why, nothing,” Peter replied, “remember, this is your reward in Heaven.”
The old man looked out of the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
“What are the greens fees?” grumbled the old man.
“This is heaven,” St. Peter replied. “You can play for free, every day.”
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
“Don’t even ask,” said St. Peter to the man. “This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.”
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
“Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?” he asked.
“That’s the best part,” St. Peter replied. “You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!”
The old man pushed, “No gym to work out at?”
“Not unless you want to,” was the answer.
“No testing my sugar or blood pressure or…?”
“Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.”
The old man glared at his wife and said, “You and your f****ing Bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!”

5. Yes, I should probably call this the Monday Afternoon Mish Mash this week, but it’s still morning somewhere! Just got a little tied up the past few days and still trying to play catch-up. Thanks for bearing with me.

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5 responses

15 12 2008
The Incredible Woody

1. Woohoo! Our party was a smashing success too!
2. Haven’t even started yet;-)
3. Vent – please vent. We love it when you do!
4. There was a couple that had been married for 50 years. A friend asked the old man what the secret was to his long marriage. He replied, “Well, I took my wife on a trip to Italy for our 25th anniversary.” The friend asked what he had planned to celebrate his 50th anniversary. The old man replied, “I’m going to go back and get her!”
5. Does it count as morning if I’m still in my pajamas?!?!

15 12 2008
Big Hair Envy

I hate Bran Flakes.

Bah-Humbug!

15 12 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Woody–it counts, and I am jealous! (and I just finished another round on the soapbox just for you)

Big Hair–me too. I can only eat them if they are so covered in sugar that it defeats the health food purpose.

17 12 2008
Liz

1. Thrilled to hear the party was such a success! We’ve been part of a group helping a family find a liveable home & work this year & it really just makes you smile from the inside -out.

2. I think I’m pretty much finished with my shopping… and never got so much as within a mile of the damned mall.

3. I love it when you get on your soapbox!

4. Hmmm… so maybe we don’t need all this healthy crap after all.

18 12 2008
Getting To Know The Local Police Part One « I Married A Country Boy

[…] out when my brain is in a fizzle and I’m lost for words. Kinda like Vinyl Villager, with his Monday Morning Mish Mash. I’ve already got some great ideas. By the way, VV, the turkey didn’t get me, it was […]

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