Penis Pasta Primavera

19 11 2008

If you thought the Vicar and his potato were bizarre, brace yourself. An Australian man led police on a chase after they discovered him having sexy times with a jar of pasta sauce.

alfredosauce

According to the report, a search of his car found pornography, women’s stockings, a home-made sex aid and a Jack Russell terrier. Poor dog.

The alleged pervert, who continued putting it to the pasta sauce as police tried to apprehend him, said he fled police as he tried to make himself “decent.” Yeah, sorry buddy, I think you left decent somewhere between the grocery check out and the time your noodle got “al dente”.

I, for one, will never be able to eat italian sausage over alfredo sauce again.

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16 responses

19 11 2008
Big Hair Envy

I just threw up in my mouth a little….

19 11 2008
The Vinyl Villager

yeah, after the headlines of late, Im gonna be afraid to go into anyones kitchen

19 11 2008
Peter Parkour

“…you left decent somewhere between the grocery check out and the time your noodle got “al dente””

An all time classic for sure. 😉 CRAZY!!!

19 11 2008
Tammy

You make this sound like fornicating with pasta sauce is a bad thing.

19 11 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Peter–Im just wondering why he didnt try it out at home?

Tammy–I wouldnt know…sounds to me like it would be a little loose and sloppy feeling…

19 11 2008
cuteasasa

My first reflex was to find a picture of a jar of Australian pasta sauce. (Ain’t this world wide web something?) I was expecting something like an American ketchup bottle but the 3 pictures I found looked like a regular old Ragu jar. So now I’m torn. On the one hand, VV, I want you to stop ruining food for me. On the other hand, in lieu of a “special” jar, I’m just a little bit impressed the guy could do this.

19 11 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Cuteasasa–twisted minds think alike. I too thought “well, if he got it stuck in a jar of pasta, either A. he ought to have any number of women knocking down his door, or B. maybe every woman he has ever been with has just run for the door”

19 11 2008
Catherine

At least not without laughing at the pasta dish.

19 11 2008
Helena

There are some weird people out there! By the way, I have my very own penis pasta post: http://helenawrites.blogspot.com/2008/10/its-thought-that-counts-so-in-this-case.html

19 11 2008
alntv

This is wrong in so many ways…

Where do you get this stuff???

19 11 2008
Jason

Shut UP!

20 11 2008
The Incredible Woody

Now I could understand a nice jar of strawberry jam. Or even a jar of pickles. But pasta sauce???

20 11 2008
Queen of Planet HotFlash

Bbbbwwwaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa
reckon what he did to the dog?? ROFLMAO

21 11 2008
thegirlfromtheghetto

Why must you ruin pasta for me? My god, I’m an ITALIAN!!!!!!

22 11 2008
Moonbeam McQueen

Mama mia! I’ll bet he started with cans of Manwich, but the sharp edges probably made him switch to Ragú.

23 11 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Catherine and Helena–thanks for stopping by!

Alan–I promise I dont subscribe to any “sex with stange things” newsletters.

Jason–this is the kinda thing you couldnt make up if you tried! It reminds me of the kinda dreams I had when I was taking Chantix.

Woody–you have to wonder at what point he gazed lovingly at the jar of Ragu and thought “I gotta hit that”

Queen–I know, poor pooch!

Girl–if you’re an Italian, Ill be shocked if you tell me you use sauce from a jar!

Moonbeam–Manwich! Bwahhahaha!

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