Monday Morning Mish Mash

27 10 2008

1. The lady at the convenience store was looking out for me the other morning. I was hungry, in a rush, and only had a buck and change on me. So I ran in and got myself a pack of raspberry Zingers. The elderly lady at the counter said “Is this your breakfast?”  I replied that it was. “That’s awful!” she said, with a disapproving look….”But I guess it’s got coconut on it, so at least you’re gettin’ a helpin’ of fruit.”  Coconut counts as a fruit? I’m not so sure, but at least she was looking after my health. As I walked out, she followed me and lit up a cigarette.

2. I was in Philadelphia for a wedding this weekend, and I tell ya,  I could NOT drive in a big city. The honking, the traffic, the weaving in and out. I’d have to be on nerve pills just to take a taxi more than once a week. And you see cars parallel parked literally with their bumpers touching…I’d get in that situation ONCE and my car would just be trapped there until it rusted away, because I could NOT get out of a space like that.

3. A group of us in Philly converged on the Macy’s…and when I stepped off the elevator, I had the oddest sense of de ja vu. The store’s soaring atrium seemed so familiar…as I rode back down the elevator, I asked an employee if the store had been used in a movie or something. “Sure was!” he replied:

4. Just about a week to go before this damned election is over. That’s the point of this morning’s lil’ poster. Get the facts and go vote!

5. A little Halloween joke for ya:

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies:
“I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers,
“My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could
say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds,
“Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have
to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says,
“Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK”  the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” says the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me but I’ve sinned.  I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK.  
My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

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12 responses

27 10 2008
The Incredible Woody

In my book, any fruit counts as fruit!

Same here. With the places that we travel, I have to drive thru Atlanta a lot. I just crank the speed up to about 80 and try to go with the flow!

Ooo – I love Macy’s. I have no idea what that movie is though.

Done. Love that early votin’.

27 10 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Woody…”Mannequin” with Kim Cattral, the guy who played Anthony on Designing Women and one of those 80’s kids who was in everything.

27 10 2008
Big Hair Envy

The other stuff is funny and all, but I want to know more about the wedding! You really can’t beat a good wedding. On the other hand, a bad one will make you feel like gouging your eyes out!!!

27 10 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Big Hair…the wedding was nice. Beautiful setting overlooking the water…an interesting non-denominational ceremony presided over by a preacher (?) woman who seemed to have hit the peace pipe before coming out. Great food and drinks and a terrific DJ…

27 10 2008
Red

heheh . .aint like driving in SC, is it? I looove big city city driving!
love that joke! i laugh everytime i hear it!

27 10 2008
The Incredible Woody

I had a friend that dressed as a priest on year while in college. He had the whole thing going – robes, cross around his neck. He turned quite a few heads as he headed out of the convenience store with a couple of cases of beer and a carton of cigs!

27 10 2008
cuteasasa

Worst 2 hours of my life was driving around (and I mean literally in circles) Brussels, Belgium with my SO. Crazy traffic, trying to read road signs ( going 40 mph trying to find, read and process direction on a street called “Harphenursostrat”) which are carved into corner buildings in stone at no particular spot. And really needing to piss. And he,of course, refusing to stop for directions. (Or needed bladder relief.) Apparently being directionally stupid in Europe is even way worse than being thought directionally stupid in your own country. At that moment I swore off driving in big unknown cities. And later in the trip I bought my first package of old lady pee pads. Ahhh memories.

27 10 2008
thegirlfromtheghetto

Sadly, I have been rewatching Mannequin on cable a lot this month and guessed the store before watching the video. I love going somewhere and remembering that I had seen in before in a movie. New York is the best for that sort of feeling. And I HATE driving in big cities myself, yikes!

28 10 2008
Philly

That Macy’s was the old “John Wanamaker’s” What a great historic building !!

#1

28 10 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Red…NO! Here, people will wave you into traffic with a smile and a nod. There, they would as soon run your ass over as find the brake pedal.

Woody…my kinda priest!!

Cuteasasa…oh gosh, forget about driving in another country. I cant even drive in other parts of this one! Pee pads?? LMAO!!

Girl…what channel?? I used to love that movie! Next time in Philly, I need to find “Illustra” LOL!

Philly–the entrances were awesome–the mosaic work…I noticed a JW written in the tiles there, had no clue what it stood for.

28 10 2008
Philly

It is so nice there around the holidays with the light show . Worth the trip !!

#1

28 10 2008
trailerparkbarbie

LMAO funny, funny joke!

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