It’s Time For Conspicuous Consumption

8 10 2008

That’s right kids, the Neiman-Marcus Christmas Book has hit the presses. Aimed at the “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it crowd”, the catalog is a yearly extravaganza of excess. And even in the troubled 2008 economy, those lucky enough to receive a copy (or foolish enough to plunk down $15 bucks to have Neiman send you one), will not be disappointed at the ways the luxe retailer has found to conspicuously consume.

Got a sports fan in your life? Neiman will sell you the end zone from the Dallas Cowboys stadium for an eye-popping $500,000. Sure to compliment any McMansion, but not guaranteed to get the approval of snootier Architectural Review committees, the half million dollar price tag also includes some autographed memorabilia.

And if replacing your sod with an NFL endzone isn’t quite the vision you have for your backyard, how about plunking down $1,000,000 plus to have Jack Nicklaus transform it into a golf course? Why trouble yourself with the social climbers at the country club when you can play 18 holes right outside your own door? And to complete the experience, you can have a drink afterward in your own $250,000 Irish pub–built right into your home.

Or perhaps you’ve always dreamt of owning champion horses. For just $10,000,000 you can do just that–including 4 years of having your team managed by a Kentucy Farm known for breeding Triplecrown quality equines.

Maybe all of those are a bit out of your budget, after all, we are all tightening our belts this year, so there are lesser priced options as well:

For $160,000 smackers, you can get a limited edition 2009 BMW 7 series, complete with European delivery and a piano finish steering wheel. It’s spacious backseat will no doubt be a great place for naps after your foreclosure is filed.

If you need transportation, but want something that will put the wind through your hairplugs, why not  a titanium fighter motorcycle? Neiman will deliver one of the limited edition bikes for just $110,000.

How about $60,000 for his-and-hers self portraits in LEGO?? That’s right…LEGO. If you’ve got sixty thousand clams sitting around, acclaimed artist Nathan Sawaya will build your likeness out of the little plastic bricks.


And if it’s been a truly hard year for you, Neiman-Marcus understands and has filled the book with low-cost gifts like a $15,000 crystal chess set, a $2,000 suitcase, and various jewels that can be had for under $50 grand. Happy shopping!




13 responses

8 10 2008
Big Hair Envy

It’s so cool that you listed the Cowboy’s endzone! I purchased that for The Surveyor – he is a die-hard Dallas fan, and has been since childhood. SSHHH! It’s a surprise. I’m thinking of having it put in the front yard so people will see it as soon as they drive up. Of course, it might overpower our 800 square foot house, but WHO CARES? Thank goodness we don’t have an Architectural Review Committee! I’m going to get the “wife of the year award” when he wakes up and sees that jewel on Christmas morning;) ( I hope my dog doesn’t pee on it.)

Do you think the CODM would spring for Logo replicas of the officers?

8 10 2008
Queen of Planet Hotflash

Oh man my hubby would give his left nut for the Dallas Cowboy enzone, well maybe not his nut but he would be one friggin happy man.

And our country is financial crisis WHY?

8 10 2008

Sounds great to me! Where do I sign away my soul?

8 10 2008

What can I get for $3.99????? Maybe, one sweaty used sock worn my a member of the Cowboys?

8 10 2008

“A titanium fighter motorcycle?” Do they have those for cripple people? It’s at the top of my wish list if they do. I’m sure my family can afford it if they sell their souls to the devil. Barring that, I guess I’m stuck with the cripple carts at the grocery store and my NOT electric wheel chair that gives me arm rash.

8 10 2008

These are all ridiculously unbelievable, but the worst one has got to be the $60,000 legos. No way!

I’m going to go look at the Target newspaper insert now.

8 10 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Big Hair–dang it, that explains why they told me they were sold out…

Queen…he might be able to sell the left one for a downpayment on it?

MJ–at only 28 percent interest, you can sign it away at TPB’s Church of the Dali Mama.

TPB–for $3.99? shoot, if you know where to shop, you can do all your Christmas giving for that.

Joan–Ive read about your moves on the dance floor…so Im betting you could rock a titanium fighter motorcycle. I’ll even chip in with your family…tell em to let me know! LOL!

Jason–I know! Where do you even put something like that?

8 10 2008

Joan — That’s a great suggestion tho for next year’s catalog. A “titanium fighter rascal”. When you got out to your car you could really let rip on the butt heads that park illegally in the handicap spots.

8 10 2008

Neiman Marcus or like I refer to them “Needless Markup”

9 10 2008
The Vinyl Villager

cutasasa—great idea! I think they could sell it for $65,000

Tom–you mean there’s a big mark up on a 15,000 chess set?? LOL

9 10 2008

Great! Now I can put my Prince’s money to good use on the Cowboys! The Cowboys really NEED the money as does Neiman Marcus. Perhaps Neiman’s is in the process of downfall and they are trying to get their way out. My Prince’s money will help all! : )

10 10 2008

oh yeah . . i get one of each every year . . for sure.
this year? maybe two of each.

13 10 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Alison–thanks for stopping by. If your Prince needs a way to get rid of some money, Ill give you my address…

Red..just two? Gosh, things are tough arent they? LOL!

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