Let me start off by saying I am NOT a dog hater. In fact, were it not for the fact that they poop and pee and chew things up, I’d, without reservation, have one or two. Even those things aside, if I had the time to train a pup I’d love to have a little furball to greet me when I come home and ride shotgun as I motor along the highways of the eastern seaboard.
They’re cute. They love you unconditionally. They’re like family. OK, I sort of get that. But some people cross the line between pet lover and just bat shit crazy, “I live for my pet” insanity.
And many of them end up on “House Hunters”. Every other episode seems to feature one of these pet nuts whose main focus in a house hunt seems to be the needs of their pooch (or pooches). These folks are instantly recognizable by their use of such catchphrases as:
“Oh look Honey! Wouldn’t Fluffy love this yard?”
“I don’t know about this light carpet, might be tough with the dogs!”
“This would be a great neighborhood for walking the dog!”
“We were really hoping for a fenced in yard so Fluffy could play.”
“I think we’d have to put some rugs down so Fluffy doesn’t scratch these hardwoods, what do you think honey?”
or, as seen last night, “I don’t know if this kitchen is wide enough, I can see myself tripping over the dog here.”
(That’s House Hunters hostess Suzanne Whang makin’ fun of these looney pet owners. Ok, not really, but I bet she agrees with me.)
I mean, give me a friggin’ break!! When little Fluffy is putting in half toward the mortgage, I’ll give a damn what sort of yard, floor coverings, and neighborhood are his preference. Until then, I’m betting he will be perfectly happy to sniff his butt and lick his balls in whatever home I provide.