Monday Morning Mish-Mash

8 09 2008

1. My stepmother doesn’t have the best of luck with cars. Her last car had the well earned nickname of “The Dingmobile”–and in fact had so many battle scars that a body shop employee, sent to evaluate damage from a rear end collision, had to ask “Which part, exactly, am I looking at?”. So it’s been a bit of a surprise that her current car, which she’s driven for more than five years now, has only suffered a few rock chips and the occasional scrape. Last weekend, a friend and I remarked that this car was, comparitively speaking, in very good condition. Well, we jinxed it. While having a flat tire repaired, a tire shop employee backed into her car, causing a few grand in damage.

2. Speaking of wrecked cars…I went to a demolition derby this weekend. It was held as part of the fair that’s going on. “Fair” in case you didn’t know, is from the Latin, for “gathering of really ugly people with orange hair and black roots wearing heavy metal T-shirts”. This is the sort of event that would seem to be a little out of character for me to be attending. As I relayed to a friend my evening plans, she stopped me short.

me: “I’m going to a demolition derby.”

her: “A what?1?!”

me: A demolition derby”

her: “Well, why? Is it luxury cars or something?”

3. That same friend, who is an art teacher, relayed an awkward moment she’d had last week. Her students were working on drawings. As is her custom when they are working, she had music playing, and had chosen some Bob Marley classics.  She was working the classroom, going from student to student showing them how to use the “blender” on their art. Now, I imagine some out there don’t know what a blender looks like, so here’s a pic (the white, unnumbered stick):

 

So her principal walks in, with a flabbergasted look that she can’t quite figure out until she drinks in the scene: she’s walking around a room with the tunes of Bob Marley playing holding this thing that looks like a joint behind her ear. She’s hoping he figured out what it was.

4. Going back to the fair…I saw the most heinous breast implants EVER there. This poor girl must have found someone to do them in their  basement. They were so far apart that you could have fit a third one in there, and so high, it almost looked like a pair of shoulder pads. There is no way whatever she was born with was worse than what she ended up with.

5. I don’t guess there’s really a point to this mornings little inspirational poster. But if you must have one: Dick Cheney gives me the willies.

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6 responses

8 09 2008
Queen of Planet Hotflash

BOOOOOOOOO to the Cheney’s for not be proud of their own child. Dick is a BiG Dick
“I saw the most heinous breast implants EVER there. This poor girl must have found someone to do them in their basement.” I spit Ice tea all over the place…good one my friend!
Yeah what the hell a demo derby?

8 09 2008
oneandahalfcents

“Is it luxury cars or something?” – Thank your friend for my first laugh of the day. That was priceless.

As for Dick, well the less said the better. Well, okay, it is appropriate that you talk about Dick and breasts in the same post as he is such a big boob…

8 09 2008
Woody

Before I even read the first sentence, the ‘dingmobile’ caught my eye. I thought you were going to say that she was such a dingbat that you had even nicknamed her car!!

8 09 2008
cuteasasa

See the expression on that baby’s face? Someone just told her who her grandpa is.

8 09 2008
Peter Parkour

#4 If they don’t NEED them, they shouldn’t get them. I’ve seen far too many women with perfectly fine tits get unnecessary boob jobs, and it breaks my heart every time. If it ain’t broke don’t try to fix it. Sure they could be bigger, sure they could be perkier. SO WHAT! Do you really want to trade them in for “they could be softer, more life like, closer together, with less scaring, and I miss the feeling in my nipples”??? 😐

9 09 2008
Jodi

Do you think his parents knew something when they named him “Dick”..? Many children give their parents valid reasons to be ashamed of them (Ted Bundy, Dennis Rader, Adolph Hitler, and my first husband come to mind…) and generally THOSE parents defend their children to the death. I just don’t understand how sexual orientation can be a cause of shame. And don’t gimme the whole “procreation” theory. When every child in the world (Including the incalculable number right here in our home country) has a roof over their head, a full belly, access to education, and loving parents, then you can preach about “go forth and multiply (or be fruitful or whatever the phrase was…)”
Ahem…
**looking around…** How did I get back on this soapbox, again..?? V V you have to quit making it so easy to get up here…LOL
bb
dawtch

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