The Beach is Callin’ My Name

17 07 2008

And I’m gonna answer it! For a whole week! That’ right, it’s time for the Vinyl Villager to take a much needed vacation. With any luck, the week will give me a few things to blog about. But never you fear! Now that I have three loyal readers, I’ve used the magic of the interwebs to set up not one, not two, but THREE posts that will appear in my absence.

As I prepare for this vacation, I have been thinking back to vacations from years past. Forgive the mish-mash nature of my ramblings, but thought you might enjoy a few snippets from my past.

First  up…I am 8 or 9 years old. (Whatever age you are in fourth grade). Just weeks before a family trip to Myrtle Beach, I break a finger. Actually, my stepfather broke my finger trying to play dodge ball with one of those bouncy balls you sit on.

Yeah, he got half tanked and started “playing” with us, and wouldn’t you know it, I end up with a shattered pinky. Because I kept knocking the splint off, the doctor decided to cast my hand while the pinky healed. And so off to the beach I went, cast and all. Now, of course you are supposed to keep a cast dry. So I was out in the ocean, grocery bag wrapped with rubber bands around my poor little hand. I held it up in the air to the point of sunburning my armpit, but it was all for nothing when a wave sent me and my cast underwater. The damned thing stunk to the high heavens as it soured. The orthopedic doctor gave Mom quite a dirty look as he cut the misshapen cast off–and asserted that it wasn’t gonna be his fault if my pinky were as crooked as a dog’s hind leg.

The year my stepmother was pregnant with my youngest brother, we let dad pick our vacation spot. He chose Maine. Now, before anyone from Maine get’s their LL Bean panties in a wad, let me just say that I imagine Maine can be a very nice place to visit. It just wasn’t that week.

We arrived without reservations, for some reason not realizing that Canada goes to Maine for vacation. We ended up overpaying for a “junior suite” in a dilapidated motel that smelled of onions. The room was paneled with plywood, the furniture was vintage 60’s, and an electrical problem in the bathroom meant every shower was taken under a disco-like strobe. And the room was already inhabited. By a GIANT spider.

The spider made its presence known by climbing up my stepmom’s back as we unpacked. She screamed, did a cartwheel across the room, and our eight legged friend disappeared. The next morning he snuck up my blanket and woke me. We looked forward to enjoying the one nice thing the motel had–a newer swimming pool, but never got to because it rained the ENTIRE time we were there. We killed time by shopping. Stepmom locked the keys in the car at the mall, and we spent hours waiting for someone to unlock it.

We ate seafood. Only my idea of seafood at the time was Long John Silver’s…and I was not a fan of the fresh lobster. Neither was my stepmom’s stomach. She spent an entire day post-lobster throwing up. (Including a roadside upchuck at the base of someone’s mailbox–sucked to be them the next day!)

With all the puking, rain, and spiders we could stand, we cut the vacation short by several days and went home. It was the last year dad ever picked our vacation spot.

So, I’ll be back in a week or so and will look forward to catching up on all the bloggin’ that happened while I was gone. Until then, I leave y’all with a pic of me in my new swimsuit. (just for TPB!)




17 responses

17 07 2008

you have fun and keep your fingers to yourself! try not to break any.

17 07 2008

Have fun on your vacation so we can all read some good stories when you get back. If your vacation is boring just make some stuff up to entertain us. Yea, try to stay in one piece.

17 07 2008
sista #2

Have a fabulous time! Take plenty of Raid with you, ya know, in case of creepy crawlers. Carry your camera at all times. The beach is the bestest place to get good blog stories.

Oh, and break a leg….not a finger.


17 07 2008

What, not taking a lap top with you on vacation? And you call yourself a blogger !!

Have fun!


17 07 2008

Have fun and drink few rum punches for me!!

17 07 2008

Have a great time! But I have to agree with Philly…

17 07 2008
Queen of Planet Hotflash

good gawd almighty I sure hope this vacation is a whole helluva lot better
and the queen is doin Vay-kay next weekend. Sun, Sand, Margarita’s yep
Have fun.. do something wild

17 07 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Thanks guys!

#2–I hadnt thought of the Raid, but thats a good idea. those beach roaches are big enough to carry off a baby.

#1 and alntv….my laptop is so old that Id be back home before it even booted up. I need a new one. Hint hint. Y’all can take up a collection while Im gone!

Joan…Im betting I won’t have to make anything up…the bigger problem will be remembering the week. (the first thing we will do once we get to the house is stock the bar!)

Queen…hope you have fun too!

Lori…I can definitely do that!

Red…you just reminded me of another disastrous vacation…Ill have to write about that soon. Suffice it to say broken bones were involved.

And finally…Trailer Park Barbie–if you stop by, I added the pic of me in my speedo just for you! Do you think the necklace is too much?

17 07 2008
Big Hair Envy

I am SO jealous! Have a drink or two for me. I’m going to need them next week!!!

I’ll miss you 🙂

17 07 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Big Hair…you got it! What kinda drink should I have for you?

17 07 2008

Oooooooh Oiuuuuuuu!
Now, that’s SEXY!

But, remember to watch out for creatures that bite while swimmin’. “wink wink”

17 07 2008

BTW…the necklace is just the right touch…especially if you are going to hang out in lizard lounges.

17 07 2008
Big Hair Envy

I don’t care what you drink for me, as long as you are wearing that Speedo and the bling 😉 You sexy thing!

18 07 2008

Man! You’re not supposed to TELL people you’re scheduling posts! You’re supposed to pretend that you are just THAT loyal to your readers.

Wear lots of sunscreen so your white self doesn’t get so burned in that Speedo. Have fun! 😉

18 07 2008
The Vinyl Villager

TPB…I knew I could count on you for an honest assessment of my accessories.

BHE–its my usual beachfront outfit, so of course Ill wear it for you!

MJ–dangit…you’re gonna need to get me a list of blogging rules or something…I should have known that! Im thinking Ill skip the sunscreen…if I burn that cross onto my chest, I might be able to get folks to make a pilgrimage to me…

18 07 2008

Maine has a mall?!

19 07 2008

Agh! Spiders terrify my more than words can say, and that picture makes me want to run and hide somewhere so I don’t have to see it anymore! Have fun!

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