Movie Spoilers

16 06 2008

Stop right now if you haven’t seen the “Sex and the City” movie or “The Happening”. You’ve been warned.

I’ve long been a SATC fan. I’ve also always been too cheap to splurge for HBO, which made it hard to be a fan. But the cable companies offered a free month often enough, or enough friends had a few extra bucks in their budget that I got to see it often enough in it’s original form to appreciate it. I also catch it on TBS from time to time…although any network that has to change Miranda screaming “Oh my God” to “Oh my Gosh” probably shouldn’t be showing Sex and the City anyway. So much of the good parts are left out, and poor Samantha’s roll is often slashed in TBS-land to the point you may think she was just an extra.

I digress…but must continue to do so.

Whether it’s a book or a movie, I will often spoil the ending for myself. Sometimes I just can’t wait 2 hours or 200 pages to find out whodunnit, who gets the girl, or whether they all live or not. Now, mind that I said spoil it MYSELF. I get some kinda pissed if someone else spoils the ending for me. (Unless of course I ask them to). Rewind a few years to when the Bruce Springsteen/Haley Joel Osment (who the hell  names a boy child Haley anyway?) film “The Sixth Sense” was out. The trailers looked good. Everyone I knew who had seen it said it was good–I was excited to see it myself. That is until a friend of mine, who my loyal readers those who have stumbled here more than once searching for a Demi Moore scat movie, might recognize him as the childhood friend who encouraged a hot dog battle and assisted with the embalment of a Barbie doll, said “Oh it was great, but I kinda figured out Bruce Willis was dead.”

Well fuck it. The whole damned movie was ruined if you knew that beforehand.

I was trying to find a picture of Haley Joel and came across that–a mug shot from his DUI arrest. If I may digress further, I need to say a few things to Haley Joel:

You’re semi-famous. You ought to have a lil more money than the average kid your age. Couldn’t you have called a cab? And why in hell were you driving a ten year old Saturn station wagon?

Now, back on topic. I went and saw the Sex and the City movie this weekend. Overall, they did a good job. Even people who had never seen the show got enough background at the beginning to not be out of the loop…but there was not so much background info as to bore the loyal watchers. It was just a little predictable though. I mean, who didn’t think Steve was going to be on the bridge? One of the folks I went with was excited about the possibility of full frontal male nudity, and was not-so-secretly hoping that the man parts shown would belong to Jason Lewis. They didn’t, and it was nothing more than a sideways shot of a penga that you would blink and miss anyway. (The next pic is for that friend, who just might be reading.)

The thing I couldn’t quite wrap my head around was the marriage of Big and Carrie. (Here’s a clue if you read this far and still go see the movie: they didn’t tie the knot at the library!!) Call me romantic, but I just don’t see how in hell you could go on and marry someone who humiliated you in front of 200 friends and all the readership of Vogue.  (Though without his “runaway groom” routine, we would have been left without the priceless scene of Charlotte’s water breaking practically on his shoes.)

There’s another movie out now that has some pretty good trailers going: “The Happening”. Now I should have known that it wouldn’t actually be good since M Night Shaliman Shylamon Shyamolon Shocaintmakeamovie was involved. But I did wonder what was going on. Saved from spending my $9 (or $7.50 if I can make the poor clerk think that my 12 year old student ID is valid) by a friend, I have the answer. Apparently, the whole premise of the movie is some shit about our natural instinct of survival being replaced by the instinct to kill ourselves. Yeah, I’ll wait until this is on late night cable, thanks.

So, there you have it, movie spoilers for this week. To recap:

In SATC: Big leaves Carrie at the first altar. Charlotte is pregnant. Samantha leaves Smith. Steve cheats on Miranda, they separate, but end up back together. Then in the end, Carrie and Big get married anyway (his proposal with a Blahnik is so cheesy!) but do it at city hall.

In The Happening: Cheese. Save your money. The whole world is committing suicide.

 

 

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9 responses

16 06 2008
Little Miss

K, so I know you really know it was Bruce Willis not Bruce Springsteen that starred in the Sixth Sense, because you corrected yourself later. 🙂

I’m glad people are spoiling the SATC movie. Now my curiosity doesn’t compell me to go see it. Not that I had planned to anyway. 🙂 I’ll pass on the other one too. Love how you renamed the movie maker…lol.

16 06 2008
The Vinyl Villager

doh…you mean he wasnt Born in the USA only to be killed by his crazy patient? LOL!

16 06 2008
The Vinyl Villager

And I should have added…whatever two year old they got to play Charlottes “newborn” unfortunately took after her husband in the looks department. And I hope they did a c-section cause that kid weighed at least 16 lbs. (Dontcha hate it when they do that!?)

16 06 2008
Jodi

Hey,
No comment on SATC, not one I watch – then again I don’t watch vwry many at all – Probably the worst person on the planet to work for a cable company – go figger!But I wanted to pop in and say hi.
Hi!
bb
dawtch

16 06 2008
Red

Im not reading! Im not reading!

17 06 2008
The Vinyl Villager

and Hi to you too Jodi! Good to see you.

18 06 2008
MJ

I wish I had seen this post before shelling out the money to she The Happening. It was the worst movie ever. I tend to like M Night (weird I know), so I was really disappointed. It could have been a good movie, but it just ended up sucking for some reason. My friends and I spent the whole next few days talking about how bad it was.

18 06 2008
The Vinyl Villager

OK, good. (I mean not good that you wasted your money) Good that theres something close to a consensus on how bad it sucked. LOL

18 06 2008
patrick

Sex and the City seems to have a polarizing effect on both men and women… people either love the movie or they hate it

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