Mama’s Comin! And I Have Predictions!

8 05 2008

My loyal readers (yes, both of you) will recall that I was complaining about my mother a few weeks back–mostly in relation to a planned visit for this coming Mother’s Day Weekend. A friend from back home has graciously agreed to be my saviour and drive mom down and return her home on Sunday. So mama’s coming after all!

I took today off to prepare myself. And as I tidied up the house, I came up with these predictions for what the weekend will bring. I’ll update you on Monday to see how many I got right.

1. She will hint at least twice that she wants to move in here.

2. She will have some issue with the fact that there is a picture of my late sister in a collage frame that also has a photo of my stepmother in it.

3. She will further recognize that there aren’t enough pictures of HER around.

4. She will complain that the house is too cold at night.

5.  She will recognize that the house is clean and proclaim that housekeeping is a trait I inherited from her (despite the fact that you literally can not walk through her house)

6. When we go shopping for the new sheets I promised her for mother’s day–she will hint heavily about at least four other things that she “needs”.

7. She will complain about the driving of whoever is behind the wheel.

8.  She will engage a complete stranger in a conversation about any or all of the following: A. whatever illness she is suffering from this week, B. my sister’s death, C. the rising price of various commodities.

9. She will provide amusement and embarassment with her complete lack of political correctness.

10. She will attempt to do the laundry.

11. She will inform me that I don’t use the right body soap, the right laundry soap, or the right cleaning products, and suggest the nearest dollar store where the correct items can be purchased.

12. She will, on no less than three occasions, suggest the she be allowed to smoke in A. my car, B. my garage, or C. in my house if she “cracks the window”.  Having been told no to all of these, any trip of more than 20 minutes will have to include a stop in a parking lot so she can light up.

 

Give me strength!

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8 responses

8 05 2008
Red

You’ll be okay.

8 05 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Yeah, I actually think Ill have a good time.

8 05 2008
Aynatt

Frankly, I want to meet the woman. =)

8 05 2008
Queen Of Planet Hotflash

Bless Your Heart, Can’t wait for the update! Whats Mother’s Day without a Bud and a smoke, especially all dress up in leopard and all.

8 05 2008
trailerparkbarbie

You forgot one. She will be constantly reminding you that she needs Diet Pepsi. I believe that all that you have predicted will come true.

So Cuzz,,,,,break out the cheez-noodles and diet Pepsi. Hang those Budd beer-can windchimes. Pull out the fold up lounge chairs. There’s gonna be a redneck party for sure!!!!

9 05 2008
The Vinyl Villager

Oh my gosh, I forgot about the Pepsi! I better run to the store.

11 05 2008
Jodi

Since I tends to have a touch of redneck in meself, it sounds like a grand ole time! (just kidding) I have sent a whole slew of “calm-serene-peaceful-relaxed-at-ease-don’t-kill-mom” energy your direction!
*grin*
BB
dawtch

22 05 2008
Cookie

If that’s your mama, then you should be happy with all you have. LOL!!!

We are a predictable lot…and make our sons nuts and our daughters crazy…but, we are your mothers…and love us, you will!!

LOL!!

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