My loyal readers (yes, both of you) will recall that I was complaining about my mother a few weeks back–mostly in relation to a planned visit for this coming Mother’s Day Weekend. A friend from back home has graciously agreed to be my saviour and drive mom down and return her home on Sunday. So mama’s coming after all!
I took today off to prepare myself. And as I tidied up the house, I came up with these predictions for what the weekend will bring. I’ll update you on Monday to see how many I got right.
1. She will hint at least twice that she wants to move in here.
2. She will have some issue with the fact that there is a picture of my late sister in a collage frame that also has a photo of my stepmother in it.
3. She will further recognize that there aren’t enough pictures of HER around.
4. She will complain that the house is too cold at night.
5. She will recognize that the house is clean and proclaim that housekeeping is a trait I inherited from her (despite the fact that you literally can not walk through her house)
6. When we go shopping for the new sheets I promised her for mother’s day–she will hint heavily about at least four other things that she “needs”.
7. She will complain about the driving of whoever is behind the wheel.
8. She will engage a complete stranger in a conversation about any or all of the following: A. whatever illness she is suffering from this week, B. my sister’s death, C. the rising price of various commodities.
9. She will provide amusement and embarassment with her complete lack of political correctness.
10. She will attempt to do the laundry.
11. She will inform me that I don’t use the right body soap, the right laundry soap, or the right cleaning products, and suggest the nearest dollar store where the correct items can be purchased.
12. She will, on no less than three occasions, suggest the she be allowed to smoke in A. my car, B. my garage, or C. in my house if she “cracks the window”. Having been told no to all of these, any trip of more than 20 minutes will have to include a stop in a parking lot so she can light up.
Give me strength!