Happy 1000th View To Me!

So I logged in today, clicked on my little blog stats button and was surprised to see that The Vinyl Village saw it’s 1000th visit today, in just barely over one month.

Then I wondered, how are these folks finding their way to the Vinyl Village? I’ve begged a few friends and family to tune in, but that can’t account for more than three of my visits.

So I turned to another little gadget in my control panel “Search Engine Terms”. Seems search engines are sending me traffic! YAY!

Now, make no mistake, however you ended up here, I’m pleased as punch to have you. But looking at the top search terms that landed folks in the “VV” is a little bothersome. So here they are, top searches that led the first 1000 visitors to the Vinyl Village:

“Demi Moore” is the top. And its variants: “Demi Moore naked” (sorry to disappoint you guys), “Demi Moore leaches”, “Demi More” (hope you learned to spell it right here!), the rather strange “Demi Moore’s feet”, and someone apparently hoping to find a more natural Demi–”Demi Moore without make up”.

Its our second top search term that is disturbing…and if you were to add all the variants of it, it would far surpass Ms. Moore. “POOP”. That’s right kids, poop. Dozens of people arrived here by searching simply for “POOP”. Variants on the theme include someone searching for “poop head”, “poop diaper”, and the rather odd “just do it poop”.  Apparently the problem I had with my neighborhood pool last summer is a common one, as several arrived here by searching for “shit in the pool”, “turd in the pool”, “turd floating in a pool”, “free shit in a pool” (has someone been charging them??), and “kids shit in pool.” Another surfer, apparently hoping for a “how-to” came to the Vinyl Village by searching for “put shit in pool”.

I didn’t realize that shit was so popular! If I do a blog post on Demi Moore’s poop, do you think I could unseat Perez Hilton?? (someone arrived here by searching for PARIS Hilton’s vagina–which shouldn’t be hard to find at all, but I am happy to report will never be found at the Vinyl Village).

So…Happy 1000th View to Me! Thanks to everyone for stopping by, hope you’ll keep coming by to read my shit.

Jamie Lynn’s Havin’ a Baby!

 It’s not too late to send a gift to little Jamie Lynn Spears! Her registry at Babys R Us indicates that her little bastard still needs lots of stuff!

What will you send? I’m thinking the Bugaboo Cup Holder, so Aint Brit Brit will have a place for her frap. Or maybe the “My Breast Friend Wearable Nursing Pillow”.

I bet my Aint (that’s not a misspelling…in the south, your parent’s sisters or your uncles wives are called “aints” not “aunts”) Trailerpark Barbie could throw one heckuva baby shower for the underaged couple.