I’ve not had my daily doses of crazy the past few weeks because Mama has been phone-less. To be honest, I tuned out as she told me the story of just why she had left her other carrier, but I did catch it when she said she “had almost got her credit rebuilt from the divorce” I chuckled to myself…the divorce mama has blamed for her basement level FICO score happened almost twenty years ago. She could have “rebuilt” from a few bankruptcies by now…whether she truly believes that items from 20 years back are still to blame or just hopes I will is neither here nor there I suppose, but in her mind the repossessions, cut off notices, and write offs that have happened just in the past 5 years certainly couldn’t be the reason no one will extend her credit, now could it?
At any rate, she’s back with a new number, a new prepaid phone, and the usual litany of medical maladies.
But wait….there’s more.
Mama has got some new neighbors in the trailer park.
“You won’t believe what’s moved in!” she said, with a child like glee.
“This butch girl that lives down across the street has moved in two roommates. They’re…what do you call ‘em? They dress like girls? Drag queens?”
Great, I thought, someone she can compare makeup and hair tips with.
“They’ve opened up a bar, a gay bar, down here to the bottom of the hill. And they perform there. I wuddent real sure at first…but saw one of ‘em come out all dressed up to sing and so I just asked “Are you the same person?” And he said yes he was a drag queen, and he knew…what was it, Rupaul? Who is that?”
I told her as best I could who RuPaul was.
“Ohhhh! “Supermodel! Go to work!” she butchered a few lines of the classic Ru song.
“That’s the one.”
“Anyway, they’re real fun. I went in and saw ‘em when I was getting ready. And he’s got a better ass than I got! And prettier legs! And kinda got little titties, but a hairy chest. I ain’t real sure if he’s kinda fat or if he’s just got too much estrogen.”
The visual was certainly entertaining.
“I told ‘em I don’t have no problem with it. Fact, I’d like to go down there and see what they do. You reckon *insert name of one of MY friends* would go with me? I might find me a lesbian! This one they live with is real butch. Wears her hat backwards and dresses like a boy. But her names Stephanie or something.”
“I’m sure it would be entertaining.”
“I’d have a blast! Well, I better go, Delores and me might go shoppin’. I don’t really want to, but is she realizes this car don’t run on water I reckon I will.”
“Alright then. I’ll talk to you soon.”