Mama was “done” with Kenny again last week. She sent him to the grocery store and he didn’t get whatever it was she asked for, and that was the icing on the cake. She packed up her car and ran back to her hoarding hovel. But she still had Kenny’s house key. Now, any normal person might have left it under the mat, taken it back to him later that night, or called and asked him to come by for it. But you know by now that none of those were going to be Mama’s tactic.
“I told him I’d take it to the deputy sheriffs office and he could get it there!”
“Jesus Christ. Why in hell would you waste the police departments time for that nonsense?”
“It ain’t wasting their time, he’s gotta go there to get it.”
“That’s ridiculous. Just take it to him or call him to come and get it.”
“I reckon I could. I ain’t even gotten my stuff outta my car yet. ” (this three days after she came home.) “Just been too tard.”
Fast forward to today. One can safely bet that the stuff is still in the car and Mama is still in possession of the key.
“Kenny took my car out there to get inspected.”
“I thought you were done with him.”
“Oh I am.”
“Then why did you have him do that?”
“He offered.”
“Thats beside the point. If you’re really “done” you shouldn’t have had him do that.”
“He wanted to. He knew I’d be stranded out here once it expired.”
“Stranded?? Why didn’t you just do it yourself?”
“I’m wearin my fleece pajamas!”
“What in hell does that have to do with anything?”
“You ever had any? they are so comfortable!”
“No. I haven’t.”
“Well what do you sleep in?”
“Buck ass naked. Now why couldn’t you take your own car to be inspected?”
“Well he offered.”
“Ok, I gotta get back to work. Bu-bye.”
I hope you are working on a book deal….
I wish! anyone know any publishers? Would make a great sitcom too wouldnt it?
I can no longer pass judgment on anyone who hangs onto a relationship too long. I can no longer make fun of the spineless women on the daytime judge shows. I also love my fleece pj’s. Now you’ve made me cry. : ) And laugh, so it balances out.
Asa, what do you mean? Is there someone whose butt I need to come kick?
As for the fleece PJs…I have a fleece snuggy thingy that is HEAVEN in the winter. I just have never found a way to use it for diverting conversation…
Thanks. But that would be my butt requiring kicking. You know it’s a sad day when you realize you have to climb down off your high horse. : ) But sometimes a little is better than nothing. And I did change my “status” on FB. lol Yea, baby, I’m moving forward.
Love your mama and fleece pajamas!