Rip Ass With Respect

A group of us were at a rooftop bar the other night when someone from the group standing behind our table broke wind. Broke may be too delicate a term–they shattered it. I bet someone needed a fresh pair of undies when they got home. “How disgusting!”  I thought. But who hasn’t at some point in their life let loose with a lil toot toot that hung over the room (or in this case, the skyline) like a green, funky fog?

Bot those days are over, kids, thanks to Subtle Butt disposable gas neutralizers–just $9.95 for a pack of 5!

Directions

Peel off adhesive and stick Subtle Butt onto the inside of your underwear or pants, exactly where you think it goes. Go for it, Let’er rip, Have at it, Cut loose, Break wind, Gas it up When you’re done wearing Subtle Butt, remove and discard.  If any adhesive traces remain, use a damp cloth for removal. Tips for Success: You want all the gas to pass through Subtle Butt.  So do what you need to do to ensure none sneaks around the edges. Subtle Butt can be applied to thongs by wrapping and securing it around the back.

Its a real and true product, available for discreet shopping–and has been highly tested (see the video on their webpage if you don’t believe me!) Now if only the Toot Tone were truly available to use in conjunction….

Larry Birkhead Shells out 3K for Anna Nicole’s Ole Panties

According to CNN:

“LAS VEGAS (AP) – They’re not traditional family heirlooms, but Larry Birkhead’s is not a traditional family.

Larry Birkhead bought a pink bustier and a white negligee that Anna Nicole Smith wore as a Playboy playmate.

Anna Nicole Smith’s former boyfriend spent nearly $3,000 at a celebrity auction Saturday scooping up lingerie once worn in a Playboy shoot by the late playmate.

Birkhead said he is trying to make sure his 1-year-old daughter, Dannielynn, has something to remember her mother by.

“I have a lot of history I have to put together that she doesn’t really know about,” Birkhead told The Associated Press. “Playboy was such a big part of Anna’s career.”

Birkhead bought a pink bustier for $1,800 and a white negligee for $1,000 at the auction, run by Julien’s Auctions and held at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino on the Las Vegas Strip.

He was awarded custody of Dannielynn after Smith died from an overdose of prescription drugs in February 2007. She was 39.

Birkhead said he hoped the items would help his daughter learn her mother’s life story — when she’s old enough.

“You know, it’s not something I can show today, but something down the road,” Birkhead said. “It’s not going to be in any bedtime stories anytime soon.”

To remember her mother by?? How’s that conversation go? “Look sweetums…1000’s of men jerked off to pictures of your mama in this outfit!” He probably just wanted to see if they were his size. You know he got home and tried to get into that lingerie!